i don’t know why people don’t trust me…

So, at work recently we’ve been having a situation with the other company we’re sharing a warehouse with.  Technically the warehouse is ours, but because it is our sister company and there’s no formal agreement in place we can’t kick them out just because we need the space.  So instead they had 3 months’ notice to move to another place, which was apparently fine because they were already preparing to move to an even larger warehouse anyway.

That’s what I got told when the company first moved me to this country.  And since then, I’ve found the European manager to be purposefully putting off moving to this other warehouse, because she will save money but staying in our little informal agreement.

“We will move, ….we ARE moving…. Oh the contracts aren’t ready yet…. We can’t move yet, there’s just no way….. if we do move then we’re going to stop business with you…. “

all whilst hearing rumours on the great vine that this European director had paused her own work contracts for the workers who were meant to be preparing their own warehouse.

So, the point you should be getting here is that she is lying, she wants to save money by putting off the moving as much as possible, and she can change her story very quickly.  Also she has no qualms in doing any of these, even if it’s to the detriment of many other people.

What’s worse, is that I want to like her, she’s got a nice personality, and seems very sincere.  But unfortunately that’s the big thing, seems is not what is actually the case.

So 2 days ago after hearing her bullshit plans and promises for the last 2 and a half months without anything actually happening, we decided to have a meeting, myself, her, and 2 other people from my team who know the warehousing situation very well, and what is and isn’t possible.

It’s a Chinese company, and 1 thing that has to be mentioned is that if you are in the company in the first place, you are trusted, therefore internal meetings are generally informal and oral.
That being said, I decided to take meeting minutes for the simple reason that 1. I would pass on this information to our new European director that couldn’t be in the meeting & 2. It’s a record of proof of what was said in the meeting.

This lady seemed surprised that I was taking it down, and I genuinely think its because she kind of realized it meant she wouldn’t be able to change her story later.

So anyway… she said something about a warehouse we could lease for a short term but…it had no loading platform (she made a big deal of saying we’d have to load the warehouse using a forklift)  OR security system, both of which are very important when you’re storing goods worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.  I wrote this down and this was questioned by a member of my team and we moved on.

After not really coming up with any better suggestions, and realizing we’d have to take matters into our own hands, despite the fact ….you know, this was her problem that she got everyone into through her own inaction, and on =-purpose non-action,  we eventually figured…. Maybe we should just check this place out, maybe we can ask for more functionality from the warehouse leasor.  So I went midday to check it out with the owner of the warehouse.

Guess what?  It HAS the loading bay, and it also HAS a full security system, and it would actually pretty much fit our needs.

I came back and in the afternoon heard from this woman ‘ oh I hear you went to the short term warehouse….; (you know, without really asking a question)

“yeah”, I said “it was pretty good, it DID have the security system, and the loading doors”

“I told you” she said.

What??? No you didn’t you specifically said that it didn’t have any of these things.

“it seems like no one trust me, I told you about the warehouse and you went to go and look at it anyway, so I guess that means you don’t trust me”

Haven’t you ever heard of ‘trust but verify’?

I mean, especially with this woman’s reputation.  Of course I’m going to verify that what she said was true or either untrue.

“but in the meeting, you said it didn’t have any of these, so we wanted to see to what extent it was”, I said.

“I never said that, I never said that”

Ah…. Yes, you did.  All that note taking I was doing… those minute meetings I sent to you and was verified by everyone in attendance… that might attest to that.

What do you think meeting minutes are for?  They’re not for….’oh yeah, I heard everything you said in the meeting….but you know what?  I’ll just make up some bullshit…write it down… and use it to hold it against you later…whilst it goes out for verification to company directors and what-not’

No, it doesn’t work like that.

Plus, considering that this entire time you’ve been lying, and even this morning when you sent us the email with the address of the warehouse, when I plugged it into my car’s navigation….it wasn’t even in the correct place.  You were even sending us to the wrong place.  I don’t know if this was on purpose or not, but I’m start to think this lying is more pathological rather than just forgetful or anything else.

So is it really any wonder why we react by perhaps not taking you at your word.

“I don’t understand why you don’t trust me”  (this was not said in a sad voice, no reason to feel bad for her… this was said in a strategic, manipulative, scheming kind of voice)

It was revealed in the global meeting/ conference call that both joint CEO’s thought she’d already moved out of the warehouse, so she’d even managed to lie to these 2 people as well.

And before today, after saying that there was no way she could possibly move out, because other companies don’t have space, or security systems, or the right things in place…or that it wasn’t even a question of money…it was simply impossible at this time, which we now know is completely not true..  she threatened that ‘if we were going to be like this she would just move straight away and not work with us anymore. ‘

She said this to one of my colleagues which is more easily rattled, but in the end I had to say, ‘this is an empty threat’ … logically speaking it can’t be true.

Either it means that previously you COULD move out but didn’t because you wanted to save money…. Which confirms that you were lying to us about this situation the whole time, OR that you can’t move out because everything you said was true, and this whole threat of ‘ fine we’ll move out straight away…but you’ll be sorry’  doesn’t mean anything, because it can’t possibly happen…according to your statements before…it is simply impossible.

I’ve never met a pathological liar before…. But I think this is my first one.  Even writing an email, even to her superiors she’s lying, she’s lying that she’s not lying. To be honest it’s absolutely incredible.

I, for some reason, thought it’d be kind of funny to meet a pathological liar, because I just couldn’t imagine what shenanigans a person like that would get up to.  But now I see…and it is not fun, especially when you’re affect by it.

Sometimes I think it would make life so much easier, especially if you can’t help it, and don’t seem to care if it negatively affects people around you.  As a saleswoman this lady is incredible.  But of course she’s incredibly, of course she is, because for any client that comes through…’can you do that?’   Yes of course we can’  Even though it’s completely not true.

Absolutely incredible.

But to have the audacity to say “I don’t know why people don’t trust me”

Hahahah too golden.


The collective perspective. – Subjugating oneself to being insulted

From a wechat conversation
Someone posted a video they took themselves of a car crashed & burning on the 2nd ring road, in Beijing.

A = the guy that took & posted the original video


A: Wonder how that’s even possible for a single car accident

Me: chinese drivers are awesome

Me: where there’s a will, there’s a way

Me: playing with his phone… and he / she had a samsung galaxy s7?

A: Uber had turned a nation of already bad drivers into something much much worse! Everybody is driving slowly while trying to locate their next customer

Tobias: Bigots

Tobis: Sometimes slow is the problem. Sometimes fast is the problem. Sometimes careless is the problem. Sometimes unprofessional is the problem.  Bigotry always has the upper hand though. Sick and tired of laowais thinking the know what the ‘problem’ of China is. Go home and solve your own issues. Nobody wants your opinions on china.

Tobias: *They

B: Well, hopefully it thins out the crowd on the highways know what I’m sayin’….

Me: chinese person crashes …in china, unprofessional?  ehhh yep. because the professional thing would be not to crash, since when has being ‘professional’ meant that you can drive a car without crashing? or catching on fire?

And yeah, all this points to laowais should go home and fix their own problems. … brilliant.

or bigotry apparently

smartest sequence of conclusions I’ve seen for a while.

Rant (not said on the wechat group…which is why we’ve now got an article): go home and solve our own problems?

-you have to realise that a lot of us (with the exception of USA) are coming from countries that don’t really have many problems…or at least not the problems that are interesting and as challenging as China’s.

-We are here to put our great detective skills up to the challenge

-we are like the detective from another agency that looks about to steal your case away from you….

-relax, we’re doing your job so you don’t have to… don’t fight it, just know that the professionals have been called in

-plus we know that you raising a hand against the government can mean bad news for you, we’re simply removing that as an option… if anything you should be more relaxed by our ponderings

-what’s more, you don’t have to defend idiots from foreign scrutinisation just because they are also Chinese….Idiots are idiots, that is not the bonding aspects.

-Idiots in China, are …obviously as a majoirty, Chinese., but not all Chinese are idiots….. to confuse the 2 however places you in the basket of the idiots.

-to take offence for others idiocy,….is in fact idiotic in itself, so well done, give yourself a pat on the back, you’ve reacted in a collective fashion to an individual case of idiocy in a situation that demanded no connection to that individual, unless of course you HAVE been in that situation before…

so you’ve reacted to the scrutiny of 1 individual and taken as an attack on yourself because you’ve deemed yourself as fitting into a collective disposition not as idiots, but as Chinese….which was not neccesarily related.

And the only rational, sensible thing to do in reacting to such a situation, is of course taking an offensive position against the ‘attacker’ , but not as the individual…. oh no, but as the collective that that individual must obviously fit into.

And what pray, collective group is that?

Foreigners…. oh yes, everyone that is not in YOUR collective.

or as you put it….laowai.

Laowai, the term used either by foreigners living in china which use it ironically to showcase how the other group,- the nationalistic, narrow-minded, possibly jaded in some way douchebag chinese also use it.

or by Nongs..   but nongs will be nongs

Note. not all chinese are douchebags, not all are narrow minded, and not all consider themselves as part of the collective, ….just people the emanate all of the above qualities

Given the context as well…

what? the dude that crashed and somehow managed to have his car catch on fire… couldn’t possibly be Chinese?

Why do you think this is an unreasonable conclusion to reach?

China, Beijing a city of 20 million or so, with a population of 100,000 foreigners…. of which maybe only 3% have their drivers license, and of which the majority live outside the 2nd ring road….

(from where this scene was taken)

yeah… I think it has a pretty high chance that the driver of this car was Chinese

And nobody wants your opinions on China?

No, you don’t want MY opinions on China.
Especially when they point out the error in your own opinions.

You don’t want to be insulted, which is fair enough, not many people do, but YOU being insulted in this situation, is your own fault, because this situation didn’t call for you to be insulted… you simply took that upon yourself.

And by the way, I’m sorry I didn’t know that in sharing the blame for this individuals idiocy you are also standing up for and are the voice of the collective that you’ve taken it upon yourself to be a part of

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

How to score a sweet date

I knew a person that she called her friend (our mutual friend) on her cellphone on the subway, and was talking to her using earphones and the microphone from the headphones, and had the phone palm up.
She saved my friends picture to the profile.  And a Chinese guy looking over her shoulder saw the pic thought ‘hey she’s pretty’ ; copied down the phone number, and then afterwards gave my friend a call.

My friend was like wtf??  Why would you admit that when you called me?

So… lesson learned.. you can look over the shoulder of girls making phone calls to their hot friends, and if you like what you see for that person’s saved profile…just write down their number.

That’s the Chinese guys way.

What’re you waiting for?

Be the creep you know you can be!


The good old 山寨车 (Copy car)

land wind landrover crash 2 landwind landrover crash

For the pictures above, one is  the RangeRover Evoque, and the other is the Landwind L7, but which one is which?
(obviously the one that says RangeRover is the original one)

Apparently… and I didn’t know this before, its the same factory that makes them here in China, which makes it even more amazing that the Chinese court ruled in favour of the copy car.  (Copy for design)

The Chinese have a word for this its called 山寨车 Shan zhai che, everyone knows this happens, which again makes it impressive because if everyone knows it, yet the courts still rule against it… well thats just extra special.

Tiger & natural selection

tiger natural selection






I think ….in something like this… its just natural selection.

If someone could ignore all the signs that say ‘Don’t get out of your car’
‘It is forbidden to stop’ etc, and on top of that just ignore plain old common sense, then this is something which yeah.. many people feel pity for her.

This is classic Darwin Award kind of stuff, where the ‘unfit’ remove themselves from society, however with one key difference.

This lady looks old enough that she might have already passed on her genes. So she doesn’t qualify.

Damn.  Forfeited 2 things in one day, her life and the award.

In the video below, which is showing the actual incident. (Apparently the woman was angry at someone in the car and decided to go out and sort him out…. however you’re right next to him?  what kind of stupidity translates to you having to get out of the car for that??)

Anyway, it becomes apparent that its just another case of, even though the warning signs are given, the WHY, which is so important, is not actually given.

You see this time and time again in China.  ‘Wear a seatbelt’ ‘it is forbidden not to’

The forgotten why: because if you crash, the inertia of you inside the car means that even though the car has stopped, you won’t have, and you’ll go flying through the windscreen and die.

‘Weight limit of 20 tons on this bridge’

The forgotten why: because this bridge was only made to cope with 40 tons, that’s 2 trucks of 20 or less each, if there’s 2 trucks of 25 tons each, the bridge will possible collapse and people will die’

‘Don’t get out of your car in a drive-in tiger park’

The forgotten why: because tigers are predators, they’re not domesticated animals, they are probably not fed that well so that they can provide some sort of ‘entertainment’ in China for the people visiting, so that when they actually are fed they ravage their prey / food, so getting out of the car in a park filled with hungry predatory animals means that you’ll likely be eaten.

People here… a lot of people are lacking what many would refer to as common sense, they’re not taught the ‘WHY?’ and their education is designed around not conditioning people to question things, or ask the ‘why’ for themselves.

If authorities think that people are just going to obey stated things like military orders, then they’re having a laugh.

What’s more, they seem to trust people to know the ‘why’ themselves when they know that they haven’t provided the masses the necessary conditions for that to be true.

I can’t stress that enough, if people are clearly not thinking about the WHY, or have the ability to supply rational and logical reasoning to a situation, then they need to be told, and shown examples of what happens when they don’t pay attention to the explicit rules.

If not, …. isn’t it just a form of messy population control?

Watch the News article here

water heater

Sorry this is a long arse article

I have no idea when this happened. But it was sometime in 2015

My water heater in my old apartment had problems.

Basically I would turn the tap on, and I could hear the the gas coming on in the heater system but every time the ignition switch tried to light, it wouldn’t just click.

Now, I now how to say a lot of things in Chinese, but I don’t know everything.

The way I ended up saying it to the agent was “the water heater has problems, it won’t light…I’m pretty sure it is the ‘spark plug’ that’s broken and needs to be replaced”

I know much more about motorbikes in Chinese than water systems… so I used the word for spark plug. 火花塞

So first of all… he goes  ‘oh I don’t know what you’re talking about’

Now this guy is not your normal idiot, he’s a special kind of idiot. He will ask you the same question 3 times expecting to hear a certain answer, and when you give an answer he’s not expecting he will simply ask it again.

I had this when I finally moved out of that terrible place.
Him: ‘ do you have white paint?’

Me: ‘No, I ran out of white paint’

Him: ‘but do you have white paint’
Me: *thinking…. But… you just asked me that question…  oh maybe he didn’t understand it
‘no…I don’t I used the white paint already… now I have NO white paint’

10~15 mins later

Him: ‘oh , do you have white paint?’

Me: NO.

5 mins later

Him: ‘errrr do you have any white paint?’
Me: ‘I’ve already answered that question, I’m not telling you again’

Him: ‘and what was the answer?’

Me:’hheheh  ….i’m not telling you’

Anyway…. So this is a guy who’s stupidity actually gets on your nerves.

So when he said ‘I don’t get what you’re saying’   I literally took the phone away from my ear.. took a big breathe to calm myself down (which meanwhile I can hear ‘Weieiiii weiii’  hello???)

And then say without any grammar, just individual words:
Water heater, fix, doesn’t work, fire, light, shower.

And afterwards he repeated ‘oh you need to fix your water heater’

Yes man, well done.

Me: ‘it’s still under warranty, so when can the guy from the company come?
Shall you call him or me?’

Him: ‘oh we don’t need the guy from the company… I have my guy.’

Me: ‘uh huh, and can your guy fix what is actually wrong with it’

Him: 可以!  (can do)

Me ‘errrrr…….ok’
(in hindsight.. I should have just said ‘ no fuck off.. we’re getting the guy from the company’)

So… the guy comes around with the agent.

And I explain the same stuff to the ‘fixing guy’   “火花塞 –spark plug, not light, not heat…” blah de blah

And he just shakes his head…

So I’m like…errrr… ok…

And then he fiddles with some knobs and tries it, and miraculously it works.

It’s always like that… when you go to fix something, when you’re in front of the fixing guy, miraculously it will work. And from my experience, in chinese fixing logic, if it works on sight they won’t try to fix it, or run any tests to see if there’s something that’s faulty that may prevent it from working in the future….even if it means that they’re getting paid to do so.

So I’m like “but you didn’t change the spark plug, so how did you get it to work?
Can you just change it anyway so that it won’t have any more problems in the future?”

Fixing guy: “no no no, you don’t need that…  hahah [looking towards the agent] silly foreigner thinks he needs to change something inside for it to work”

Me, getting more and more angry: “Soo……what did you do??”

Fixing guy: “oh you see there are 3 dials here?”

Me: “Yes…”  (there are 3 for ‘Temperature’ , ‘fire strength’ & ‘seasons’ )

Fixing guy: “well the temperature one has to be in the middle”

Me: “errrr…..no, because I like a hot shower… so I’m going to put it on hot”
(oh it was a really shitty old apartment whereby you couldn’t control the temperature at the shower…all temp control would come from the water-heater)

Fixing guy: “hahaha silly foreigner…that one doesn’t control the temperature”
*pointing towards the temperature dial,
“this one does”
* pointing towards the ‘fire strength’ dial

Me: “you know I can read Chinese right?…..   I can see very clearly that this one says 温度调整 (temperature adjustment) & the one you’re pointing to says 火亮调整 (fire strength adjustment), so why is it that ‘temperature adjustment’ doesn’t control the temperature??”

Fixing guy: “hahaha silly foreigner… pointing to the fire strength dial, in China its always like this”

Him and the agent are now chuckling about how foreigners don’t know this.

Me: “no its not, my last apartment just had up & down… why does this have 3 dials, and besides… what does that 3rd dial do, I can see it says ‘Seasons’ or ‘Seasonal adjustment’ “

Fixing guy: “well you see there are 4 seasons”   (holding up his hand to show 4 fingers)

Me thinking: Really?     Wow…you learn something every day…..tell me more…

Saying out loud: “yeah….I know”

Fixing guy: “so when its Summer, its really hot outside, so you may want a cooler shower… and in Winter its really cold outside….so you may want a hotter shower…so you can use this to control that”

Me exasperated: “No…..   that’s what the temperature dial is for”

Fixing guy & Agent:  “hahahah silly foreigner”

Me: “what?  But that’s retarded… are you serious… there’s 3 dials… 2 of them control the temperature… and the only one that doesn’t is the one that’s actually labelled ‘temperature adjustment’ …. that’s stupid”

Fixing guy & Agent:  “hahahah silly foreigner”

Me: “fine, whatever… so…tell me then… if there are 4 seasons… why is it that on the dial there are only 3 settings?” (holding up 3 fingers on MY hand)

Thinking- ‘ah hah! I’ve got him… his idiocy can’t go around this one’

Fixing guy: “hahhaha ….silly foreigner… well because you see Autumn & Spring are pretty much the same …so there’s only 3 settings”

Arrrgghghhhh!  You m**ther  F*** moron… you are both so retarded… how can you??  Argghhh!

It was at this time that my eyesight was beginning to turn red…and I seriously considered just taking off one of the dials (with the little needle attached) and stabbing it in his neck and shouting at him whilst turning the dial… “this doesn’t make any sense either… so is it going to change the water temperature??”

I also envisioned just punching the agent in the head… constantly …just wondering…if he suffered head trauma at a young age which made him so stupid, perhaps I could repeat the process and get him to wizen up by some how punching him in the head until he saw logic.

And then I took a deep breathe and realised no amount of punching… nor logic was going to convince these guys of anything… they immunities were just far too strong.

So I said in English to their faces: “you are both idiots… none of this makes sense, you’ve just completely wasted my Saturday morning, you know that right?”

And in Chinese I said “great… ok time to leave”


3 days later the water heater didn’t work again.   And which point I began hitting it… which of course didn’t do anything, and then I was away enough for some time that I didn’t care if it didn’t work.

But then after I came back … and it didn’t work yet again, I called the actual company of the water heater and said exactly the same description as I did before.

When the guy came around, from the official company, I stated “I’m pretty sure it’s the 火花塞’ the spark plug and he says: “yep you’re right lets change that now. “

But because the stupid agent had left it so long the warranty had expired.   Which is actually what I warned him about before.  And if it was free fixes…why didn’t he just call that guy in the first place??

No logic. I can’t stress that enough.  It’s like going out of your way to think of something stupid to do.

Oh and then of course, and as expected the water heater had no problems going forward.

And explaining this to the agent he was like, “oh but you didn’t confirm this with me.”
And I’m like… “I called you multiple times, messaged you many times about this recurring problem and you just sent a guy that didn’t do anything.  It was the problem I originally told you about and now he fixed it.  If I tell you about a problem and exactly what the problem is, yet you don’t do anything about it and refuse to address it…then of course I’m going to do it by myself.   What you think I’m just going to have cold showers because you didn’t confirm it??”
No that would be stupid.

But honestly I think stupid is the agents normal.  So after rationally explaining this to him in Chinese, I might have added in a few choice insults in English and politely told him that he was a moron.

It’s like I’m asking for something that’s difficult… like I’ve asked for logical thinking… and this agent & his accomplice in idiocy (maintenance man) has achieved thinking… albeit not a lot of it…but its thinking in the wrong direction.

Ok time to calm down….where did that peaceful music go?


The politics of motorbikes in China

北京要开始“禁摩限电”新政策了! [article]

Beijing to start ‘Prohibiting motorbikes & limiting electric scooters new policy!’


This entire article is about electric scooters breaking the rules, and generally being the dickbags that they are, and in fact the one scene in which they show a motorbike rider, he is sitting patiently at the lights waiting for it to turn green.

In this article basically they say that in Shenzhen they’ve just introduced a law that will fine people driving scooters when they break a traffic law.

From which you’re left thinking… This wasn’t being done before?

And then they have the audacity to put motorbike riders and electric scooter drivers into the same basket.  Oh yeah they’re all bad.

Why is the title ‘Prohibit motorcycles, and limit electric scooters’?

If they show the video of all the electric scooters breaking all the traffic rules, and motorbikes doing nothing of the kind, why crucify motorbike riders?

And more to the point, why make the penalty for driving a motorbike greater than the scooter if they’re not the ones doing anything wrong.

Surely that’s retarded right??

“Look at all these scooters… all these bastards… I know what we’ll do…I know what the solution is, we’ll ban motorbikes”   “and we’ll limit scooters”


看!空气污染这么严重, 所以我们应该禁止飞机!

“Look the air is full of pollution. I know what we’ll do, we’ll ban aeroplanes.”

The reasoning behind these 2 sentences honestly uses about the same logic.

Also how about the police just do their damn jobs in the first place and enforce the laws that they already have?

You don’t have to make a new law, if you make a new law and that one is not enforced then what do you think that is going to achieve?

By the way you can restrict motorbikes quite easily but not so much electric scooters.

Motorbikes need petrol, if you make it necessary for all petrol stations to check for drivers licenses then for those that don’t have them… (that have not gone through the proper procedures to be able to drive a motorbike), then they won’t be able to get petrol, and then they can’t drive.

I realise it’s not going to stop everyone, but it’s a 70% kind of thing. Because its then up to the petrol stations to enforce this. But somehow in this crazy world that we call China I somehow believe petrol station attendants can enforce the regulations better than police can.

But for scooters…what are you going to do? Go into people’s houses and ask people for their license as they’re recharging their batteries?  No.. you can’t do that.

I have heard there’s such thing as a ‘Beijing traffic safety certificate’ (北京交通安全证)that electric scooter drivers are supposed to have, but how are you going to enforce this?
I heard it when I was studying for my motorbike transference license, when I was at the Department of Transport & Licensing in Beijing asking all the necessary questions of what was needed.

But the fact that no one else has heard of it kind of shows how much this decent enough policy was enacted.

So what are they planning in Beijing then?

10 major roads are going to be restricted, mainly Changan avenue though… look that one up people, you know its significant for a reason but you won’t know why until you look it up.  (the one that goes past Tiananmen Square)

And …and this is the big one, there will be a 20 rmb fine for those people that are caught not obeying the rules.

20 rmb you say?  Holy shit, well that changes everything.
[Oh, for my Chinese friends, that’s sarcastic…. 我讽刺说啊]

That’s utterly ridiculous.

Let me just tell you that this kind of logical thinking (or rather lack of logical thinking)… to see a situation like this and then just ‘apply a new law because that will fix everything’  is not how Chinese people in general think. This is a gov. mandated thing, and most likely as well it’s a reporter trying to make a name for herself. While she only caught proof of electric scooters breaking the law, as the video shows, unfortunately as the news is also the mouthpiece of the gov. she also has to reflect their broader policy. Ie. ‘We don’t like motorbikes. ’

Why?  I haven’t found a reason to that yet.    Maybe some member has a vendetta against motorcycles.

But anyway this is the Chinese conversation I had with a Chinese friend after reading this article. I apologise for my Chinese, sometimes its not always awesome.

我= Me  她= her

我:This is more against scooters right? Because in the one 镜头你能看到一个真的摩托车,他在红绿灯等变绿灯。我觉得只有电动车的问题不是摩托车
她:对呀,骑摩托车的人都有驾照,那些骑电动车的就不一定了 但是我不太明白,那个文章里面只说了电动车的问题,没有提摩托车,但是为什么标题说“禁摩限电”?
我:对,我完全同意,除了一个方面。不一定所有摩托车有驾照。除非你fangce 说 unless you said this sarcastically
我:还有对,我不知道为什么他们只想禁止人骑电动车,as you say, 不是电动车是这样的人

(I might have said I know some people that don’t have their Chinese motorbike license, so not ALL motorbike drivers have their license)
她:好吧[Sweat] “骑摩托车的人应该都有驾照”,重点是应该
对,应该 这是关键词
但是为了一个摩托车他们会…. (and then speaking about the ability to enforce a motorbike through filling up with petrol, but for a electric scooter you can’t do this)

她:交通安全证 可能是一个好方法,但是执行起来可能有点困难,就像你说的,他们不需要加油,没有人能监督他们。 但是如果卖电动车的人跟买车的人要驾照或者交通安全证,可能会好一点儿,就行药店卖的处方药一样
我:但是应该跟摩托车一样,如果你 break the law, 犯规很大
我:Or…. or…. 或者警察可以开始做他们的工作,就执法现在的交通规则。我们不需要一个新的 规则,如果执法现在的规则就行。

她: “ 因为如果他们说,OK,现在我们发布了新的规则,但是还是没有执法,那问题还是一样的。 ” she is correcting me to make my Chinese more awesome


I hear this countless times by the way, “oh I don’t like politics, I’m not really that interested in it”

Do… you not understand what the word ‘politics’ means?

Its important because its about how the country that you live in is governed, what rules are made, and how these rules will affect your life.

I think that’s pretty important.

And pretty damn easy to take an interest in.

A stupid motorbike rule, policemen not doing their jobs, laws not being enforced because it creates confusion and somehow the people that run the country like it that way, retarded new laws being made….this is all politics!

Not interested in politics? Don’t understand it?  You can understand this right? You’re angry at this right?  You’re already well on your way to getting involved in politics.





Yep, this is a thing in China.

To be fair, there’s a lot of normal Chinese people that think this is stupid too.

And others calmly explain to you that they don’t want their face burnt.

To quote John Mearshiemer on this – I’m like a mosquito in a nudist colony… I don’t know where to start.

Let me assure you when they calmly explain this to you, there’s no smirk on their face…its just… Yep. I can understand that.

Well, what about understanding the fact that you look ridiculous?!?

I love that this photo is clearly taken in Beidahe (a coastal formerly Russian colony of China), the beach is terrible.  Well I’m from a country that has some of the most pristine beaches in the world, but for Chinese the beach is a novelty, yet despite being such a novelty, rarely anyone actually goes in the water.  Apparently when they do, they want to be as far removed from it as possible- full body wetsuit, little booties and this ridiculous facekini that completely covers up their face.

Feel that nice cool water on your body.

Ah no, I can just vaguely feel that I’m floating in some liquid.


Also, this is another situation where some Chinese people have forgotten the original meanings behind their cultural adversities and inclinations.

You’d be right to assume that they’re wearing the facekini to stop themselves from getting burnt on the face.

But I mean, seriously… look at the sky… look how polluted that is, you’re not going to get burnt anyway.

But the original thought process behind trying to not get burnt/ tanned was (as I’m sure many of you already know) that those that worked the fields were the ones that got tanned, while those that were wealthy, or educated and therefore respected, stayed indoors and their faces were not tanned.  These people enjoyed the leisurely life, and so it came to be that having paler/ fairer skin was a sign that you were someone to be respected because of your intellect or that your family had lots of money and that you didn’t need to work outside, that basically you had a comfortable life.

China has always been a society that has craved wealth, and the ‘desiring of white skin’ is simply a very neat representation of this cultural inclination.

But, we take a look at nowadays. Sure peasants (I always laugh when I use this word- it sounds so bad, but here that’s what they use) are going to have brown skin… but they’re also going to dress like shit. And therein lies the biggest difference.

In fact if Chinese people were sticking to their original inclinations without paying attention to the reasons behind it, they would still desire the whiter skinned individuals, but the fact is that the common people now have white skin.
Why is that?
Because it is now the common people that spend all their days inside, stuck in some terrible office environment, and when they do go outside they’re met with blanket pollution which stops them from getting tanned anyway.
Are they wealthy, well-learned, or even priviledged in anyway just because they have whiter skin?
In fact they’re just common.

The ones with the money are travelling, getting out and about and …getting tanned.

In that way as well they are different from the majority of the people.

So these idiots wearing their facekinis….they’re doing it for all the wrong reasons.

At least if they got some kind of a tan, this would spark a conversation of ‘oh your face is more brown, what happened?’

‘nothing happened, I just took a trip to the beach on the weekend, because I don’t have to work at the office on weekends, I have enough free-time’


‘I went to Thailand last week, because I’m not stuck at a deadbeat office job like others…’

Mini skid crash

Was driving to the subway station to go to work one day and there was a black car in front of me. He was in the middle of 2 lanes so it’s not like I could overtake him, or at least safely. He slowed down a bit, looked like he was stopping… so I slowed down too… and then nope he sped up.. so I sped up, and then some guy from the right hand side waved a hand and therefore.. he just immediately stopped.
Well done dickhead!
Yep sped up, and then stopped without warning.
No indicators…. or anything…and so I braked hard but still managed to slide into the back of him…probably only about 5kmph by the time I hit. But still, it took me surprise and so the bike fell down.
The guy who had stopped got out of his car, first took a look at the back of his car and then looked at me with disdain in his eyes.
And…. I ..went mental.

First of all, he could tell that I was a foreigner..and I’m sure he was thinking…ooo I can get some money out of this.
But instead, I replied angrily in chinese.. (which obviously & satisfyingly he seemed surprised)
Why did you Just stop huh?, you just sped up? And then just stopped…. and then pointing at his indicators… do you know what these are?? Why didn’t you use these huh?
To which he replied… you were driving too fast.
Ahh. I was driving too fast (which is not so true) so that absolves you from driving like an absolute shithead??
I have a heavy bike, but in my anger I picked it up easily.
And then some old guy comes out of nowhere and looks at me and says “…oh its OK, you can go.”
As if he was forgiving me on behalf of this driver of my idiocy in causing a crash.
What you think this is MY fault?
The guy that put out his hand slightly chuckled to himself and when I turned to him he went real quiet real quick. As I started explaining to this old guy that this idiot in front of me caused an accident (not realising that I shouldn’t have to justify myself to a complete stranger, nice stranger, but one that wasn’t part of the conflict) the actual driver said in a threatening tone… should I call the police?
What I wanted to say was…. “you know what, yeah let’s call the police, in fact I’ll call the police, this was your fault, driving like a fucktard, you stopped unsafely and guess what…I’m not like most foreigners…my bike is fully legal, I am fully legal..you have nothing on me. And.. what’s more… I’m pretty sure that the reason you stopped is because you were picking up this guy on the side of the road, and as you’re not a taxi it means you are doing dididache.” (An Uber like service which was made illegal in china). … “so what do you think the cops are going to say about that?”
But I was already running late.

Then again, I happen to know from friends and the foreign motorbike community here, that whenever there’s an accident its coincidentally always the foreigners fault and in 60~70% of the cases the person that was following’s fault…. unless of course there is indisputable proof.
Why? I think mainly because police seem to be here to just keep the peace, they do as little as possible to ensure that everything continues on chugging on even if nothing is perfect or that the ones responsible are really held responsible for their actions.
So I think, as a friend suggested…I might just get a GoPro and make one of those helmet cameras. To give that irrefutable proof…. to those idiots.
Or… get something that teaches these idiot drivers the error of their ways…like a tazer. Or..a cow prodder or something. Or I guess I could just head-butt them with my helmet…although that may draw unneeded attention to myself.
But as I’m thinking about all of this, I realise that these drivers seem to be incapable of self reflection, this guy never believed for an instance that it was his fault. Or that he could have driven better.
Or that because he was completely unaware of his surroundings he was going to be causing more accidents.
As a friend says, “If he wants to hurt himself, OK. But as soon as you start endangering others..well that’s when I can’t take it.”
…how are these people on the road?
How are these people surprised when people get angry with them?
Maybe it’s the theory of ‘constant chaos for control ‘ that some have thought is the domestic strategy for the CCP to remain in control.
More about this later.


Language partner night

language partner night
















hahaha I love this poster.

Want to be confused? Then language partner night is for you.

Two people coming together who don’t speak even the basics of the language are coming together for a language partnership.

(the Chinese is actually also saying “I can’t understand what you’re saying, can you speak Chinese”)

Come to our meeting, you’ll have no idea what’s going on!