China pride & dumbass questions or trolling?

OMG STFU ALREADY!!!!
I’m tired of these people talking shit about China!
Pollution this, economy that!
Fuck you.
If China was so bad why are these huge investment firms investing so much money hiring you foreign assholes( yes I’m foreign too, however my blood is red and my skin is yellow and I have my moms little red book!)
you really think you know the world works?
Be a descendent of someone who was in politics maybe then you might have something worth saying as well as being relevant! It’s simple, if you’re so fed up with China just get the fuck out and move back to your just as corrupt country and post your shit there!

中国万岁!

This was posted on Chinese social media…by a chinese / french dude
Anyway, let me take some time to reply to some regard and share my thoughts…
Why are they hiring foreign assholes?
Probably because the foreign assholes know how to think outside the box, and these firms are selling to the average chinese dumbass, and they can’t have the average chinese dumbass running their operations now can they?
You have to be the descendant of someone who was in politics? If that’s the case then it seems like the only people that could justifiably have proper political opinions are the CCP, but then again the first communist party members, they weren’t sons and daughters of politicians, so does that mean that those original people like Mao that ran the country for so many years were full of crap and didn’t know what they were talking about?? …  Oh wait, yep, that’s a bad example.
But just because you work in government it doesn’t necessarily mean that your political opinion is worth more than someone that doesn’t.
Don’t give me this shit of… ‘i’m not into ‘politics’ if you have any care for fairness, and how things should be for your life then you by very follow in logic will have an opinion in politics and governance.
You don’t just state ‘ this isn’t fair’ and then walk away.
You say ‘ I think it should be like this’ OR ‘I wish it was like this’
Just because you want to improve a situation doesn’t mean that you don’t appreciate what you already have.
You can desire improvement even if something is fairly decent, after all that’s essentially the concept of innovation….constant improvement., to make our lives easier or at least better.
If its that case for so many things, why can’t it be the same for governance of a country?….you know for something that affects your everyday life?
That shouldn’t just be a novel idea, that should be obvious.
Plus, why do people keep saying this bullshit of, ‘do you really think you know how the world works?’
Not totally, sure. But we’re all entitled to have our own opinions , even if they’re ridiculous.
Plus a lot of the time, you don’t have to know how the world works to know that 1 country could change how THEY work, to make things better for their people.
That’s not a difficult concept to understand. Why is it so difficult for people to get?
His last little comment in chinese by the way, 中国万岁 zhong guo wan sui, basically translates to- Long live China!
Sometimes, I wonder if these people are trolling, just to get a reaction….because I can’t believe that 1 person can ask so many dumb questions sincerely and spout meaningless filler crap for the post…. I wonder if they’re doing it just to get a reaction.
That being said, from living in a place like China…I can actually totally understand that many people post about complete crap, and ask as many dumbass questions such as above.

American election -hooray for Trump

Destroy and Rebuild

Just a quick post, because this website is meant to be about trials in logic after all, not what was inevitable.

That Drumpf got elected was not illogical, it was the culmination of a shitty public education system that isn’t aimed at producing citizens that can’t think critically.

How did they arrive at a shitty situation in which their public education was this bad?
By a group of elites that realise that in order to get richer, other people need to get poorer.  And how can you guarantee that people en-masse get poorer?

By making them dumber of course.  America’s reputation, or at least stereotype or ignorant, fat people stems from somewhere, and ultimately its foundation is the American public school system.

By not giving people the tools to understand the system in which they live in, and how they can benefit from that system, or.. even what their place in that system before they can even think about changing it, means that people won’t know what needs to change, let alone how to change it.

There’s a reason why those very same elites that forge such a situation don’t send their children into public schools, and it’s because they ultimately want to make more money, and if they’re not taught the right things, raised in the right environment that show how the country actually works…then they won’t have the tools to ensure they can continue to make money.

You might be thinking that I’m saying that these ‘elites’ are Republicans.  Hahaha no.
Republicans, for the most part are stupid.  Most people are aware of that.  What the elites do however is create a neat bundle of sophistry and present their real agenda to the common republicans which end up pushing it themselves without really knowing how it will affect them.

We don’t need to teach evolution in schools; an image that you need to be religious to be president; the idea that the definition of the word ‘socialism’ actually means communism, and that communism = oppression.  The very worrying mathematical equation that it is somehow possible to lower taxes whilst providing more services that are not publicly funded whilst also making them more affordable, whilst also not increasing government debt; or that corporate competition will provide morality, and in relation to the previous point- that if such services were provided by the corporations it would be cheaper and provide better service than if it was done through public channels.

Republicans believe all of this, mostly because words and mathematics seem to confuse them, and so essentially can’t be bothered adding up all the details to understand for themselves that it is not possible.
However, the elites that are guiding the Republicans, of course know that’s not possible, but when your aim is to make yourself richer whilst making other people poorer, it doesn’t have to be a balanced equation.

In fact their real equation is that if government is smaller then the government can be less efficient at passing regulation that limits their profit making potential.

If government is smaller then they can’t provide necessary social services which lead to the betterment of lives for everyone in the country.
& if there is no betterment of lives, then people will struggle more to live a life that they want, and will likely not concentrate on working rather than further education or trying to understand things that don’t immediately affect them, but yet may affect their children.

& ultimately people received less education about the system in place around them and how they fit into it all, and because they don’t have the ability to think so much end up buying goods & services that they don’t really need, or end up enrolling in ‘get ahead’ schemes because they don’t have the capacity to realise that they won’t work nor that the people in charge of selling such things only care about profit.

Think about Drumpf’s own Drumpf University.

Drumpf may be stupid, but also whether unconsciously or consciously, he is doing things in the exact way that you CAN do things in America.  Avoiding paying taxes, creative accounting that means that because of 1 loss he doesn’t have to pay income tax for the next 18 years or so.

Drumpf “That makes me smart”

Well, yes, in a way that does.  He’s not wrong there.  He’s taking advantage of a system that was built by people like him (but not him), the elites, that have been guiding Republican agenda to make necessary changes within the legal system that ensures the rich stay rich and the poor stay not just poor but unaware that they will be poor in the future if they keep voting for people that will make the legal framework & general system work against them.

As much bullshit as Drumpf talks, he’s not wrong.
I’m not advocating him, I’m just saying that he HAS, whether you like it or not, got a point.  He is able to take advantage of a situation BECAUSE people like him have created that advantage to take.

Duping people in private universities.   Again a ridiculous gap that has been left in the education due to lack of regulation from the standard education.

By the way, it’s so nice to see so many chinese friends taking an interest in the election.  Almost as if they wanted to have some say themselves.

But like in everything, I’m sure the chinese gov. is monitoring their own people.  Even when there were the demonstrations against Japan, there were many Japanese cars that were damaged that were in fact ch. gov. cars with ch. gov. number plates.   Exasperation & disappointment towards another country or their government may also be veiled disappointment towards their own gov.

Why would the Chinese gov. be monitoring people that take an interest, especially if there’s too much interest in the American elections?   Because the system that allowed Drumpf to be voted in is the same system that the CCP has been promoting since 1978.  Yes, that whole ‘opening up policy’ was directly brought over from the USA with Deng Xiao Ping’s little trip over to America.

Of course they renamed it ‘Socialism with Chinese characteristics’ which many people know that study Chinese politics and government strategy is code for ‘Capitalism’.

What is not noted however, is that the real point of it is to ensure that those that are in power stay in power by constantly changing certain policies to ensure that the wealth and power stay at the top by creating a certain level of chaos at the bottom.  Misaligned focus is a way to do that. Patriotism, single minded focus against certain other countries, mis-information, propaganda, reducing the teaching of critical thinking in schools, creating a capitalist society and environment in which people need products that they don’t actually need and …reducing social services to a point where people need to work in order to survive.
If they are only focused on working, then they can’t possibly focus on changing the system in place that has them held in that position.  And therefore they are more susceptible for being screwed in the future by the people at the top.

For a very obvious example- The Chinese education system is also terrible.  Chinese government and business elites, also send their children abroad to study, and…specifically to American elite schools.  Not to public schools, but to the elite schools.  Because if it’s the elite schools that do so well in providing the right guidance for the education of elites, and it is the top America leaders that has shown China the way.  As it was the top British elite that showed American leaders the way.

In fact, this is not new at all, it is simply a perfection of the system.

What Drumpf has shown, quite ironically, is that the American system IS broken.  If a person like him can get elected, with all the absolute bullshit that he says, and all the terrible things he has done, it’s not because despite the fact that it is terrible people who elected him, it’s that the system in place has allowed him to do all of these things and allowed him to get away with it.

I imagine that some people DID vote for Drumpf, not because they think he is the best person to lead the country, but possibly because he is the worst.

With Hillary you are getting more of the same shit, more stagnation of Congress, more not moving forward with changing the education system, more complete halt in gun control, more dodgy arms deals which lead to future wars which eventually fuel the elites to continue to make money.

But with Drumpf you get Chaos, provided that he really can’t be controlled.

Some people that voted for Drumpf are doing so on the basis that to make things better you have to destroy and rebuild.

And who is better at destroying things than Drumpf?

My ‘because China’ manifesto

I can’t comprehend why others don’t understand that even though you can live in a place where dodgy shit often happens, that some people may actually like that.

Its the same reason why the English go on holiday, just so that they have another reason to have a good moan.

Their simple minds just process it as, ‘don’t like it….oh, only 1 solution then, just leave’

No no no,
There are complex reasons why people stay in a place of discomfort… and one of them, is to continue to see how much shit can happen, and provided its not happening to you, to take enjoyment from the hilariousness of it.
When you can see a simple answer to the problem, yet others have the logical reasoning ability of a pencil, then….it’s just funny

Its what we all think from time to time i’m sure.

China is a great place to live.  when its good its good, when its dodgy, its funny…but still pretty good

Comment from a person in the ‘because China’ group after seeing a runaway tractor clip where it’s going round in circles but the guy can’t catch it:

‘We don’t have runaway tractors in ‘Murica. That’s mainly why I live here’

I like the potential thought process ‘i need to move…but which country? .. which country has the most run away tractors?….China.  Done.’

Him: ‘And there ya have it’

GPS in safety vests?

I went into the warehouse the today, because I had to talk to the operations manager…and I was a little bored to be honest, and kind of just wanted to walk around, and as soon as I passed the designated ‘safe area’, I notice that there were many people not wearing their safety vests.
You know the ones I mean, the fluro vests that are required in warehouses to make sure that forklifts actually see where you are, and don’t accidentally run you over.

As a company that has met all the requirements and reached the highest trust levels within the country we’re operating in, we need to have these kind of safety requirements.  Plus, either way, its just common sense.
Getting your workers to wear safety vests, and protected steel capped boots etc is a way to protect your workers, keep them from injuring themselves, insure that efficiency is maintained…and stopping lawsuits etc…which of course will hurt your business.

Even if you’re a visitor, you’re meant to have a safety vest on. …again, it just makes sense.

So I was a little surprised a week ago when I walked into the warehouse to find that 1 of our workers looked like he didn’t have it on. And when I asked about it, was told.. ‘oh yeah, he has it on, but he has his coat over the top of it’

Well what fucking good is that?  The point is that you can see it.   If you cover it up with your jacket because you’re cold, then you can’t see the safety vest any more, can you?

So why don’t you put it over your jacket?

This, by the way, is in the Netherlands, not China anymore.
For those who have lived in China, or at least have read my other articles, it should be apparent that these kind of idiotic conclusions can be forgiven to some extent, because a lot of Chinese people just don’t think of the WHY; they literally do things because they are TOLD to do them, not because they’ve rationally come to the conclusion of why they should be doing something. Again as hopefully I’ve pointed out, this stems from their education system, government and to a small extent their culture.

Yet, this is the Netherlands!
So it just goes to show that its not just China that people come to idiotic conclusions.

So, back to the original story… today I went into the warehouse to see that whilst all of our warehouse staff had their safety vests on, our sister company, who shares our warehouse on some bullshit agreement, only had 1 employee out of 4 that had theirs on.

Then I realised that there was some guy working in the warehouse that I’d never seen before, and when I asked who it was, as member of our sister company calmly told me ‘oh, he’s one of our clients’

With me left thinking….’well, that doesn’t explain why the fuck he’s working in the warehouse, nor why he hasn’t got any of the safety clothing on.’

[Staff need to be cleared for safety reasons to work in a warehouse, you can’t just have anyone walk in and do it, government regulations…and again common sense]

With all these things, you don’t want to start your 1st conversation with someone for the day by just shouting at them for their idiocy.
So I calmly replied…. ‘has your side not got enough safety vests or something?’

Obviously implying that they should be wearing the fucking safety vests.

The worker was joined by a truck driver who now both tried to explain to me that sometimes workers would take the vests home.
As if that was a perfectly reasonably explanation.

Me: ‘why? … why would they take them home?’

After looking at their confused faces that clearly stated ‘why not?’

I continued, ‘they don’t have any reason to take them home, and there are hooks provided, its not like they don’t have anywhere to put them..  and they have little reason to steal them…because they’re worth less that 2 euros….so why would they do that?’

All I got back was..  ‘well you know, it still happens, sometimes people just forget’

By the way that this company’s workers act within the warehouse… yes I can imagine they forget, and whats more, I can imagine that they might purposefully take them hope for whatever bullshit reason too, because they’re constantly parking pallets in cordoned off walk-way areas. And constantly don’t give 2 shits.

Anyway, then I asked their operations manager the same questions.  But took a slightly different approach.

Thought, ‘fuck it, let’s just buy the vests we need for this other company, and be done with it’

The reasoning being that if there are always enough vests, then the other side can’t come up with bullshit reasons that there’s not enough, so they can’t wear them.

So asked this guy, plain and simple ‘ how many fluro vests do you need, because we need people to wear the vests in the warehouse, and it seems your side doesn’t have enough’

Very polite, right?
Whilst also implying somewhat that I know their side is taking them home, and that I was the one resolving their bullshit mistakes.

‘Oh I’ve ordered some 2 weeks ago, you don’t need to order any’

‘Well I think I do, because they should have been here by now; I’ve directed my warehouse manager to pick some up and by Monday he’ll have them, we just need to know how many?’

‘and by the way’,
I continued, knowing full well he was lying about ordering them because they don’t take 2 weeks to arrive,
‘why does your side never have enough?’

He vomited the same bullshit excuse, about people ‘accidentally’ taking them home….

And when I replied quite exasperated ‘But …why?… it doesn’t really make much sense, its so simple to take off a vest..’

He sarcastically retorted ‘ What, do you want me to put GPS devices in them so I can track where they are at all times??’

To which I was momentarily stunned, because I was thinking… wait… does he think he’s being smart?

Like, was that a smart retort for him? Does he think that I’m requesting something that is overly difficult from his staff?

‘What?, no… …wait do you think this is difficult?’   (to ask staff not to take vests home)

but what I thought was…
… maybe you shouldn’t be hiring staff that are willing to steal safety vests that are worth less than 2 euros, …what kind of security risk does that present when we have a warehouse full of hundreds of thousands of dollars of merchandise?; or that are so negligent that they can’t remember to take off their safety vest – what does that mean for how they’re going to properly handle themselves in the warehouse for other things?

This was the peaceful reaction.   Next time, I’m just going to be going up to whatever dickhead is doing something stupid, thrusting a safety vest towards them and saying ‘wear it , or you’re out!’

And how is it not obvious that people don’t understand that they can’t let whoever they want just walk into the warehouse?

Ah fuck it.  I seriously thought that in the Netherlands I wouldn’t have to deal with this  level of idiocy… but I guess I was wrong.

I don’t want to ____, but….

Ok so this started because I did a ride yesterday that I’d been looking forward to doing for a while, there’s a part of the great wall that you can actually ride your motorbike onto.  I just couldn’t miss out on something like that.  A friend has done it twice before, and it’s detailed on some of the motorbike forums in China.

I posted some photos up on Chinese social media, and I instantly got a whole bunch of people commenting, ‘wow that’s great, how can I go? I really want to do this too…’ etc.
From both Chinese and foreign riders alike.

So I posted the information on one of the motorbike groups for Chinese and foreigners using WeChat (Chinese social media)

For example, you can’t look at this and not be intrigued:

15.pic_hd copy

 

31.pic_hd copyAbsolutely amazing views, and such a hidden and interesting ride, and on top of it all, nice to get out of Beijing and do something that not many people have done.

Most people were just like ‘wow…yes…I’m doing that’

And then you always get one, one person that feels it’s his/ her duty to stand up for those that didn’t ask standing up for… and just generally to be ‘the voice of reason’ when reason was not called for…or actually constitutes ‘reason’

Which….starts me off on a rant about such douchebags.

So what was actually said:

Some dude:
-I don’t want to be a dick so I’m only going to put it out there. You think riding a bike on an already crumbling world heritage site is a good idea? I’m all for exploring and I’ve ridden out that way many times but for me I’d rather hike it than bike it. [Awkward]

-Just saying.

Me:
-Yeah it’s a good idea

-Like many Chinese friends have said to me, you think too much

I dislike these comments so much because there’s too many things to pull apart and analyse and to shout at this person at, that you inevitably end up just stating such a brief point, like ‘is it a good idea….nanh nah nah?’  ‘yeah it is’   translation- shut the hell up you moron.

“I don’t want to be a dick, but…”
“I don’t want to do ____ but…”
Well we know you’re instantly going to do whatever ___ is.
“I’m not racist, but…”    You know whatever comes next is going to be racist right?  Oh what and because the person has clarified up front, it makes it instantly acceptable?
No, it means the person stating this shit is unsure how its going to be taken….

“Just saying”

How about you have some adventure and if you think the Great Wall is worth saving how about you complain to the gov that’s been destroying it through ‘restoring it’ for the last 20 years or so??
Huh?
Mr fucktard?

” I prefer to hike it than bike it”

What?,  you think because it rhymes it adds strength to your argument?
No, fuck off.

“Do you really think it‘s a good idea?”

Yes, motherfucker I do.

Did I mention Baam !

And its crumbling because
1. It was built with shit materials in some parts… and
2. Because people have been stealing bricks for centuries to make walls for their farms etc. Because guess what?
They were too poor to get normal materials.
And who’s fault is that?
Foreigners?
Because they decided to park a motorbike there decades later?
No. Fuck off.
Learn some real history and some modern happenings.
And don‘t let your Chinese wife influence your opinion with her propaganda tainted mind.

All those propaganda tales that the government came out with, like documentaries stating ‘oh yeah you can see the great wall from space’

‘The chief engineer in charge of the wall at the time calculated down to the brick just how many bricks were needed for the completion of the wall’
‘it really showcases the prowess of Chinese construction knowledge’

What? ??

Just think about that for a moment, instead of doing the usually Chinese thing and just believing it straight away. First of all …you’re American, you don’t have the fall-back excuse of a crap education system that doesn’t teach ‘why?’ or critical thinking.
In fact if you don’t apply critical thinking….that’s just dumb.

You can see it from space?    Bitch please… you can’t even see it from the horizon, there’s too much pollution, or ‘fog’ and its way too deteriorated anyway; its not a wide wall, most of the time its as wide as the width of 3 cars parked side by side.

Can you see cars from space?
No.
Then you can’t see the fucking wall, can you?

See…. Critical thinking.

You can….probably….probably see the mountain range… , but that’s not the wall is it?

And ‘the Chief engineer calculated it down to the last brick just how many bricks were needed, and as proof he made one extra and then placed it on top of the wall in a certain area to showcase his achievement’

That kind of claim is just so beyond stupid, it’s so beyond trying to understand it, it’s so ignorant to the history that is the Great Wall…. that to recite something like that makes me feel sad.

Sure, lets go with ‘he calculated it’    Sure, but he could have just calculated it incorrectly. That way you can still claim that you ‘calculated it’

That’s like…

quick mathematics

you can claim something, but other should looks carefully at what you’re claiming.

 

13.pic_hd

 

 

 

 

As beautiful as this is, and it is beautiful, do you really think these ‘bricks’ were part of the whole ‘calculation’??

Oh yeah and the history of the wall…. it wasn’t built in one go, it was built over dynasties, in irregular locations as well.

How do people believe this kind of obviously fake claims?

Americans… well I guess they have a fall-back of some rather dodgy public school systems too.

 

 

 

Dealing with ‘security controls’ from my university

I was trying to see if I’ve officially graduated, as I’ve already completed all the units.

Email from my former university:

Please check your ***** supplied student email account as all official correspondence is sent to that account (this was advised on 4 March 2016 and again on 11 April 2016).

It is understood that all official graduation documentation (official academic transcript, testamur and AHEGS statement) is currently being dispatched to all students who did not register to attend the actual ceremony last week or elected not to attend.

My reply:

Hello ****,
Yes that would be good, but I haven’t had access to the ***** system and hence the email for quite some time.
It keeps saying that the password I’ve entered is incorrect, even though I’ve copied it from a saved place.
And then when it inevitably asks me to change my password because I’ve ‘forgotten’ it, then I have to change it to one I haven’t used before, which means as I’ve changed it more than 10 times now, it is ever increasingly likely that I won’t remember it, because it becomes more and more obscure.

I mean seriously what kind of secure system is that?  It is so difficult to get in, that you can’t use any of the functions because you won’t be able to get past the initial login.

But hackers can still get in, because they’re going to find a way around the system anyway. It’s just the person that wants to use the account can’t.  Brilliant!

Also, I seem to remember that this particular university system asks me really strange questions when you go to change your password.

Like ‘Please answer your security questions’

However I’m pretty sure I’ve never typed in those security questions.

So instead of ‘What was your Mother’s maiden name?’

It will ask something like ‘Where was your Aunty’s first apartment in Australia?’

Or… ‘What was your father’s childhood dog’s name?’

Or.. ‘How many pairs of socks did you own as of March 2015?’

Errr…. I don’t even know the answers to these questions.  And I’m pretty sure I didn’t choose them as my security questions.
Ok the last question is a bit ridiculous, but you get what I mean.

It will always tell me though, that I’ve answered it correctly, which makes me just assume that it’s somehow collecting information on me.
Yes my cynical, paranoid mind kicks into gear.

But then it say.. ‘OK please wait 24 hours whilst we clear this information for security concerns’

By which you forget the damn password you just changed it to, or…you forget to login again after 24 hour and then you even forget where you stored the password that you had the foresight to actually write down.

….Why does it have to be this complicated?

Living in china and the 4 basic necessities

Taken from a conversation with a friend after a bout of food poisoning from some dumplings he ate the day before.

A: Honestly, I’m starting to be tired of Chinese food just because of that
-I’ve never had food poisoning in my life before coming to China
-And now this is like three times in the last year
-Pretty sure food poisoning isn’t really good for your body
B: Hahha… and the texture..
A: Nah but like so many sauces/spices/herbs
-You simply can’t taste the actual food anymore
-I think I’m definitely going stick with western food more and more
-Really makes you wonder why we like this country so much when it lacks so many of the very basics
-Food that doesn’t make you sick
-Water that doesn’t make you sick
-Alcohol that’s not fake
-Air that doesn’t make you sick
-I don’t think it gets more basic than that haha
-I can kind of understand why my friends don’t really want to visit me here

B: Food, air, water ….all makes you sick
-The only thing they’re missing is shelter that makes you sick
A: Oh I’m sure the shitty materials they use do
-And the fact that buildings just collapse every now and again
B: Oh yeah.. earthquakes… schools
(referring to the 2008 Sichuan earthquake in which government built schools collapsed because the local gov was trying to save money by not meeting all required safety standards…apparently pocketing the difference)
-Wow…. china has it all

A: Although you may argue, death isn’t exactly sickness
B: Hahahahaha
-Yep that’s what the gov will argue…
A: Hey if you’re dead you’re not suffering
-And your family might even get money!
A: That’s the golden argument right there
-Moniessss !
B: Yep, Socialism with chinese characteristics!
A: What a lovely place

Water- It obviously not that China doesn’t have clean water, it’s just that it’s not available for free.
Air- you’ve seen the news.
Food- there’s a reason that the chinese go-to excuse for pulling a sick day is ‘拉肚子’ la duzi (diarrhea) instead of just saying…”I’m sick” … and that’s because it’s relatively common. Go figure.
Shelter- To be fair Chinese construction has got a lot better in recent years.  Although I think much of this came through trial-and error, a bit like Chinese medicine I guess. But either way this is improving.

What a lovely place.

So who is the illogical ones in this situation?

We are, the 2 foreigners having this conversation.
Because we both come from countries which have all these.
But in fact the reason why we’re here is because it’s almost as if our own countries are already good.  It’s gone through all the phases of progression and growth has now slowed down and relative to China everything is perfect….  too perfect.

But, its that reason why we’re here, because that is also boring to some regard.
We’re attracted to the madness of China.

The madness like explained above?  …not quite but still.

The madness of China is great, and as you see from the stories in this site there’s a lot of madness.

What a lovely place.

Video

Profound questions

“If a tree falls in a forest, but no one is there to to hear it, does it still make a sound?”

Yes.     Next one.

“What does a one handed clap sound like”

Bart Simpson’s one handed clap
[from S02E06 Dead Putting Society]

“Can something exist without being perceived?”

Yes.

What other brain busters have you got for me?

What is so difficult or profound about any of these questions?

Just because you can’t perceive it, it doesn’t mean that something doesn’t exist.

Before Isaac Newton came up with the theory of gravity, it didn’t mean that the laws of gravity had no effect because no one had ‘perceived it before’

…well I guess that’s ‘conceived’ actually.

Or that the world wasn’t actually round because no one had seen it before or thought about it before.  The world was still round, its just that no one knew it.

The tree falling in the forest. It’s just such a stupid question… I can barely bring myself to give it any credence.
If there’s a deaf person and a person that is not deaf standing in the forest at the same time as the tree falls, and the deaf person says… “I can’t hear anything”
First of all the other person would be like… “of course not, you’re deaf, are you only just figuring this out now?”  and then would use his sign-language to convey that actually the tree just made a sound as it crashed to the ground, in a more polite manner.

If you don’t hear anything because you’re not in a position to do so… it’s not to say that it didn’t happen.
That is not how sound works as well, it doesn’t just exist in your mind…it’s the vibration of air particles….wait why am I explaining this to you… I’m sure whoever reading this is thinking….’yeah man you’re preaching to the choir here’

And for those philosophical hippies out there… me explaining the concept of physics is not going to change their minds… they’re hippies, they are sometimes immune to logic.

“oh but you’re not thinking about the philosophical nature of the question”

Its not philosophical its just stupid, and it has an easy answer, but you’re so caught up in trying to seem profound and spiritual that you won’t even given logic a chance.

……I really … really don’t like hippies.

Image

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

The egg.

Easy.

Dinosaurs had eggs, and dinosaurs were alive way before chickens ever existed.

So the answer is quite obviously –The egg.

“Oh but you see it’s a cycle, you can never say which one came before, because the other one came before it”

Ah….No.  If one of them came 65 million years before the other one, it’s not much of a cycle is it?

“oh but you’re ruining the intended purpose of the question”

Ah….again….No.
I think we know the intended purpose of the question…and that is whoever asks the question is retarded, and doesn’t have the ability to think about something longer than 1 second. They want to appear profound but they’re just promoting idiocy.

Philosophical question?

bender laugh harder

Hahahaha, Oh wait you’re serious?!?    Let me laugh harder….

Yeah, Only for the stupid, or… I guess also for those that believe in Creationism…. Oh wait no…my point still stands, only for the stupid.

2001 A Space Odyssey

Can you justifiably say something is shit not just from a subjective point of view?

Have you guys seen 2001 a space odyessy?
Well first of all …don’t. Its terrible.
But it like one of those movies that people tell you you just HAVE to watch… because its a cult classic or something
I was trying to argue against a colleague, with me saying that it was shit…. or at least frustrating to watch…. and she keeps saying things like like ‘oh maybe you just didn’t understand it’
Sorry….have you seen the movie?
No?
Well then shut up.

Its 2 hrs 29 mins long … and its slow as hell.. and its one of those kind of movies where you know that it was made for people on drugs.. like LSD or something,  but if you’re not on LSD… its pretty fucking terrible.
And like a good boy, I of course don’t want to give away too much… of why it IS terrible, but now I’m getting insulted because of a predetermination for which she thinks the movie is good because she’s seen some reviews online.

Bah!
Reviews are for idiots!
Why is it that the simple reviews are never taken seriously?
ie.-  Its shit, don’t watch it.
Wait sorry, let me change my review. It’s shit because….. (people always want to know the because) it’s slow, its full of extended 15 minute scenes for which we already got the point in 2 mins, and unless you’re on LSD, I would not recommend this movie.

Perfect!

Here’s a friend’s review for the film…and its more like a watching guide:

Imagine a movie written by a director who thinks he’s being deep enough to create a cult following on his film. Imagine the beginning of time when monkeys roamed the planet, now a plot twist. A rectangle black rock. It appears throughout the film for zero fucking reason. Fast forward time and they will talk about deep space and bush babies. Fast forward for 15 minutes or nauseating coloured lens flares and crappy sound. Black rectangle is seen. The end.

By the way, for those that haven’t seen the film, here’s a little insight…. The first word, the first bit of dialogue is spoken after a full 26 mins.  Before that you’re just watching monkeys behave curiously.
Come on!

Note- I will concede the movie is full of some pretty basic science-fiction concepts that has fuelled ideas to shows that we all know and love, (like Futurama for instance) and of course it was pretty impressive for when it was made, 1968. You will see that I said ‘impressive’, impressive doesn’t necessarily mean good.

 

By the way… In terms of movies that are designed to be watched when you’re as high as a kite, I think ‘Gravity’, ‘The life of Pi’, ‘This is the end’, ‘Pineapple express’ are the ones that I know of….anyone got any others?