GPS in safety vests?

I went into the warehouse the today, because I had to talk to the operations manager…and I was a little bored to be honest, and kind of just wanted to walk around, and as soon as I passed the designated ‘safe area’, I notice that there were many people not wearing their safety vests.
You know the ones I mean, the fluro vests that are required in warehouses to make sure that forklifts actually see where you are, and don’t accidentally run you over.

As a company that has met all the requirements and reached the highest trust levels within the country we’re operating in, we need to have these kind of safety requirements.  Plus, either way, its just common sense.
Getting your workers to wear safety vests, and protected steel capped boots etc is a way to protect your workers, keep them from injuring themselves, insure that efficiency is maintained…and stopping lawsuits etc…which of course will hurt your business.

Even if you’re a visitor, you’re meant to have a safety vest on. …again, it just makes sense.

So I was a little surprised a week ago when I walked into the warehouse to find that 1 of our workers looked like he didn’t have it on. And when I asked about it, was told.. ‘oh yeah, he has it on, but he has his coat over the top of it’

Well what fucking good is that?  The point is that you can see it.   If you cover it up with your jacket because you’re cold, then you can’t see the safety vest any more, can you?

So why don’t you put it over your jacket?

This, by the way, is in the Netherlands, not China anymore.
For those who have lived in China, or at least have read my other articles, it should be apparent that these kind of idiotic conclusions can be forgiven to some extent, because a lot of Chinese people just don’t think of the WHY; they literally do things because they are TOLD to do them, not because they’ve rationally come to the conclusion of why they should be doing something. Again as hopefully I’ve pointed out, this stems from their education system, government and to a small extent their culture.

Yet, this is the Netherlands!
So it just goes to show that its not just China that people come to idiotic conclusions.

So, back to the original story… today I went into the warehouse to see that whilst all of our warehouse staff had their safety vests on, our sister company, who shares our warehouse on some bullshit agreement, only had 1 employee out of 4 that had theirs on.

Then I realised that there was some guy working in the warehouse that I’d never seen before, and when I asked who it was, as member of our sister company calmly told me ‘oh, he’s one of our clients’

With me left thinking….’well, that doesn’t explain why the fuck he’s working in the warehouse, nor why he hasn’t got any of the safety clothing on.’

[Staff need to be cleared for safety reasons to work in a warehouse, you can’t just have anyone walk in and do it, government regulations…and again common sense]

With all these things, you don’t want to start your 1st conversation with someone for the day by just shouting at them for their idiocy.
So I calmly replied…. ‘has your side not got enough safety vests or something?’

Obviously implying that they should be wearing the fucking safety vests.

The worker was joined by a truck driver who now both tried to explain to me that sometimes workers would take the vests home.
As if that was a perfectly reasonably explanation.

Me: ‘why? … why would they take them home?’

After looking at their confused faces that clearly stated ‘why not?’

I continued, ‘they don’t have any reason to take them home, and there are hooks provided, its not like they don’t have anywhere to put them..  and they have little reason to steal them…because they’re worth less that 2 euros….so why would they do that?’

All I got back was..  ‘well you know, it still happens, sometimes people just forget’

By the way that this company’s workers act within the warehouse… yes I can imagine they forget, and whats more, I can imagine that they might purposefully take them hope for whatever bullshit reason too, because they’re constantly parking pallets in cordoned off walk-way areas. And constantly don’t give 2 shits.

Anyway, then I asked their operations manager the same questions.  But took a slightly different approach.

Thought, ‘fuck it, let’s just buy the vests we need for this other company, and be done with it’

The reasoning being that if there are always enough vests, then the other side can’t come up with bullshit reasons that there’s not enough, so they can’t wear them.

So asked this guy, plain and simple ‘ how many fluro vests do you need, because we need people to wear the vests in the warehouse, and it seems your side doesn’t have enough’

Very polite, right?
Whilst also implying somewhat that I know their side is taking them home, and that I was the one resolving their bullshit mistakes.

‘Oh I’ve ordered some 2 weeks ago, you don’t need to order any’

‘Well I think I do, because they should have been here by now; I’ve directed my warehouse manager to pick some up and by Monday he’ll have them, we just need to know how many?’

‘and by the way’,
I continued, knowing full well he was lying about ordering them because they don’t take 2 weeks to arrive,
‘why does your side never have enough?’

He vomited the same bullshit excuse, about people ‘accidentally’ taking them home….

And when I replied quite exasperated ‘But …why?… it doesn’t really make much sense, its so simple to take off a vest..’

He sarcastically retorted ‘ What, do you want me to put GPS devices in them so I can track where they are at all times??’

To which I was momentarily stunned, because I was thinking… wait… does he think he’s being smart?

Like, was that a smart retort for him? Does he think that I’m requesting something that is overly difficult from his staff?

‘What?, no… …wait do you think this is difficult?’   (to ask staff not to take vests home)

but what I thought was…
… maybe you shouldn’t be hiring staff that are willing to steal safety vests that are worth less than 2 euros, …what kind of security risk does that present when we have a warehouse full of hundreds of thousands of dollars of merchandise?; or that are so negligent that they can’t remember to take off their safety vest – what does that mean for how they’re going to properly handle themselves in the warehouse for other things?

This was the peaceful reaction.   Next time, I’m just going to be going up to whatever dickhead is doing something stupid, thrusting a safety vest towards them and saying ‘wear it , or you’re out!’

And how is it not obvious that people don’t understand that they can’t let whoever they want just walk into the warehouse?

Ah fuck it.  I seriously thought that in the Netherlands I wouldn’t have to deal with this  level of idiocy… but I guess I was wrong.

Does war count as natural selection?

Does war count as natural selection?   (this article is fairly long by the way)

Like if one a huge group of people pressure another group of people into action because of the 1st groups’ collective stupidity…. does that still count?

This is a question that came to me as a result of living in China for a long time, studying Chinese, US & Australian strategy, and paying attention and reading between the lines of various news articles for international & domestic events; and also having an interest in anthropology.

We often think the standard definition of evolution fits only for animals, and that for we as humans, (the animals that managed to stand above the rest by creating tools), this evolution process doesn’t really apply.  However, I doubt this is really the case.

There’s a famous movie and theory called ‘idiocrasy’ by which – in the future, and even now the survival of the fittest is no longer true, and that it’s not the ‘fittest’ that procreate more and therefore pass on their genes, just more the ones that literally procreate more…that push on their genes.

I love this theory, because its honestly something you can see throughout the world.

Despite all of humanity’s advances in modern technology and medicine, we end up protecting everyone at once.  Even the stupidest of our society can pass on their genes even if they’ve had accidents that would normally take them out of the gene pool, due to advances in modern medicine.

And then even the smartest of us might not necessarily have the chance to pass on our genes.  All too often some of the most intelligent humans are socially awkward, possibly resulting in them not to be able to find a partner, settle down, and ultimately passing on their intelligent genes.

Yet, the ones that are either muscle bound, or natural born douchebags that manage to lie and cheat enough to find a partner, or… a combination of both these traits, manage to pass on their genes with ease.

Is the world not quickly coming to a state that we’re having proportionally more of these ‘fittest’  in terms of the animalistic definition of evolution where the strongest & ones that can procreate more, rather than the actual best/ intelligent (the ones that actual allow our society to continue going forward) are the ones that survive.

However, what is the case when it comes to war?

Can one government influence the majority of its population to a point where their collective mindset, and collective beliefs or maybe stupidity means that they manage to piss off other collective of people/ governments to the point where there is a war?

If the 1st collective group of people cannot see that their direction of  thought will cause conflict, and do not have enough resources or weapons, to weather the resulting war, then surely they are not the ‘fittest’, right?

Being able to develop tools is one of the main aspects that puts humans above that of animals, and a weapon is a tool just like any other.  A tool used to kill sure, but it is still development.  It can be used for defence or for attack and thus survival, and should be treated no differently.

Increasing levels of thinking, strategy and tactics used to ensure that you survive can be applied as tools for survival.  If 1 particular culture, government fails to provide this for the people of their country, then they are failing to give them the tools necessary for surviving.
If they enact failing strategies and opinions based on information which has been selectively chosen- stemming from a propaganda kind of way so that the government can remain in control of its people, yet this same education means that the people’s jaded opinion of the world comes at odds of maintaining peaceful existence with other countries, or other people outside of their own sphere….then this is quite simply a  disadvantage in the whole ‘survival of the fittest’ situation.

A government forcing their people to adopt thinking like this explained above could be noted as setting up their own people for eventual extermination.


Because if one group of people are not allowed to develop due to the restrictive thinking that has been placed on them for so many years, and a collective mindset of ethnocentricism has been instilled in them effectively meaning that, despite it might not being the case….especially given their selective, often reduced education levels that they as ‘one sphere of people’ are better than anyone else outside their sphere, and that they don’t need foreign help not interaction to better society as a whole, they are ultimately provocative to others outside their sphere.  This could mean that this sphere of people could effectively bring war upon themselves whilst wrongfully believing, through sincerely convincing themselves of this thought, that they can defend themselves properly and defeat those outside their circle.

The more 1 group of people become detached from the rest of society due to a belief that either they are better than others or that they need to crush others BECAUSE they are better than others and more people should join their world view, the more likely it is that those outside that sphere will form resistance and ultimately defend themselves against the perceived threat.

Think different societies, not just the Germans, throughout the ages defending themselves from the Jewish population that throughout history has segregated themselves from the rest of society rather than integrated whilst also amassing wealth due to the close connections and focuses of their culture, which through one way or another people believe it is because they see themselves as ‘the chosen people’.  This clash of worldviews ultimately creates conflict.
This difference in education and thoughts about their standing in the world, as well as a miscalculation many times on just how others outside their sphere (strategic & contingency thinking) coupled with a lack or preparedness of defence, (should those outside their sphere actually take action), means that those in that position have the chance of being wiped out from this process.

They, in this regard, are lacking the tools for survival, and therefore I think can quite reasonably be declared that they are not the ‘fittest’.

Don’t forget I’m inferring that the tools for survival, for humans at least have always and should always include intelligence- of course our greatest tool as humans, but this also generates other related tools such as weapons and defence building, relationship building, strategic thinking, contingency planning, which may lead to integration and compromise with those outside your sphere but which definitely doesn’t translate to ethnocentricism for which the Germans were obviously guilty of…and if you’ve followed my line of thought here, the Chinese is most definitely a modern example of.

Now that being said, the Chinese….not the masses, because anyone that has ever lived in China has a mountain of evidence to prove against that, but certain government members definitely has the strategic thinking to provide enough of an increasing barrier to protect against this from happening just yet.

That being said, for what I mentioned about education, mis-information, propaganda etc., the Chinese regime is definitely aligning itself with those points outlined above. Its historical culture and modern culture, emphasised through Chinese Communist Party government propaganda certainly create a mindset of ethnocentricism, distrust of foreigners, un-integration and all manner of things that can potentially lead to conflict.

The recent announcements of the government censoring education even more to ‘remove western values’ from higher education, despite the fact that many western values are the same as Chinese values, and that totally removing supposed ‘western values’ would technically mean removing logical thinking, best practices, family values, human rights, moral behaviour etc.,  would be incredibly detrimental to the education of the Chinese people.

These wishes of the government may be generated from wanting to keep the masses in line, and to remain in power themselves by effectively controlling their people in the only way they seem to know how, but ultimately it creates a society that is at odds with the rest of the world.  It creates resentment of others and matched with a perception that they are better than anyone else simply because they are Chinese, means there’s a chance that active showing of resentment is a real possibility.

The Chinese government will often come up with great ideas to thrust the economy forward.  They need to keep up the growth of the economy because they don’t seem to be providing much else to their people, and this is one of the only ways that they can maintain power-  If people have better standards of living, then it’s a sign of good governance.
Of course if this comes by the way of increased control and less freedom, then the growth of the economy has to be always better than other benefits that the government could provide.

One great idea that Xi Jinping announced is that they would increase ingenuity、 creative thinking among the people, and increase entrepreaunialship within the economy, and that this should lead to generation of new industry … and of course with a healthy dose of protectionism (which almost always pisses off those that have already developed such related businesses and whilst have been promised trade with china, have now been shut-out because of a government change of heart) ; it meant that China could reclaim or at least widen its world money generating potential.

It should be obvious to most, that centuries of ethnocentricism, mis-information, government propaganda, and an education system that is aimed at not teaching ‘why’ and churning out people that are all equal, and easily controlled…because they are simply not thinking enough… that this cannot be turned around by the government by simply clicking their fingers stating ‘let’s be entrepreneurial now’.
The same government that forced this level of basic/ restrictive thinking in the first place.

So are they going to have the greatest weapons to protect themselves from their own eventual stupidty?   Stupidity which as defined in detail above results from self-segregation, ethnocentric behaviour, and provocation which ultimately leads to them bring war, or at least conflict upon themselves?

The simple answer would be no. , They wouldn’t have the inguinuity to create the defence needed to protect themselves from their own stupidity.  And therefore in the definition of evolution….would not be the ‘fittest’.

Now there’s a few of you that know, the Chinese…and especially the Chinese government are pretty awesome at ‘reverse engineering’ (otherwise known plainly as copying…or ‘stealing shit’).  Although the concept is quite self-explantory, its essentially stealing the work of those that are smarter than you, and have created a product that is better than one of your own people could have come up with; then taking it apart and copying it from the ground up.
Of course from there, once you know how it works, and potentially why it works…you can add to it, modify it and essentially make it yours.

The Chinese government have been doing this for years, it is government directed, military implemented and corporate benefitted.

It’s been well documented in journal articles and intense research for years, however it rarely makes its way to the normal public understanding/ realisation.  That being said, ‘China un-censored’ [link] did a video article about this that can more or less bring you up to scratch.  Whilst not complete in its explanation, it is reasonably good at explaining what is happening, but not why.
They [the Chinese government] can do this, because in their minds they have convinced themselves that they are constantly at war.  An ethnocentric society that views everyone else as against them can of course very easily come to this conclusion.
This kind of thinking is obviously at odds with the fact that they believe they are the smartest, because if they really were the smartest they would come up with these ideas and products themselves.  And their ‘ingenuity’ could easily facilitate this, however clearly this is bullshit because they have gone for the stealing route instead.

The corporate, yet government sponsored espionage / stealing route is clear to cause conflict and tension from those that actually created the product, investing millions of dollars in the first place.

One thing that the Chinese government is ahead of the curve at, which is of course is in direct relation to this, is computer hacking and computer related espionage.

The USA keeps complaining about this, but can do little about it, because THEY believe they are not at war.  War rules are different than that of non-war times, you can essentially do anything to ensure your survival.  Of course this is not what western governments say, yet it IS what actually happens whether it is right or wrong, it should be stressed this IS what actually happens.

China is winning this current war, because essentially they are the only ones that are actually attacking.  The other side doesn’t even know it is at war yet.
But what happens when the other side realises that it IS at war?   Their, by which I mean the USA of course, military or fighting advantage is in ‘traditional’ war.  Whereas the Chinese strength is in asymmetric and non-traditional war, long term strategic planning…etc. Clearly something which the USA government has not been so strong in the last few decades.

Strategic thinking denotes that one should only enter a war knowing that they have a good potential at being able to win it.  Especially given their tools on hand.

Yet what happens, as stated above when one group of people through their own stupidity, force a war to take place due to provocation etc.?   Well the otherside, can always find ways to turn an asymmetric war into a traditional one.

How?  Through provocation or issues the other side is sensitive to.

Where the Chinese side is smart however, is foreign policy, and whilst Chinese might have proved themselves as not being able to integrate so well… the integration that HAS taken place has allowed foreign companies to establish a presence within Chinese borders, and Chinese companies to take stakes in foreign countries, meaning effectively a traditional war is difficult to fight as tactics like carpet bombing can affect your own countries assets because you could be bombing your own side.

Thus, strategic infiltration is needed, …something which the Chinese government is and has been undertaking for quite some time already.  Slow but steady provocation has been conducted to effectively test the waters of how the other side will react, such as is the case with the South China Sea, and island-building in contested waters.
So far, effectively nothing has happened, and even though international courts and tribunals have found that what China is doing is illegal by international rules, the same rules which their government also agreed to; this doesn’t actually result to anything because the Chinese government refuse to take heed, and have realised that whilst there may be a ruling; the clout that they have for control in the world economy means that by denying one country something due to a stance they may take on one issue to selling rights/ economic rights within China, they can effectively continue to do whatever they want.

That being said, whilst the government may have control over this foreign policy side of things and may be effectively winning the one sided war that they are waging, they are slowly creating a domestic atmosphere which is also increasingly at odds with the international community.  Which if continues may create a situation that whilst a certain amount (of the international businesses) might remain due to economic potential, it can also lead to a withdrawal or un-integration from the Chinese.  Thus coupled with increased provocation from their domestic population and Chinese actors abroad could lead for more chances of traditional war as the worry of damaging one’s own assets decrease.

Strategically the USA has already missed its opportunity for a traditional war with China, it’s resources are being wasted chasing expensive wars, because expensive wars are the ones that generate profit for the American Hamiltonian elites (see article) ; the ones that are invested in keeping the traditional war industry going.
Computer hacking, drones, & strategic espionage operations are relatively cheap compared to building and manning of aircraft carriers; or large infrastructure construction projects such as missile defence domes.  Thus meaning that the USA’s biggest stupidity and provocation is the greed that comes from monetary expansion, and short-term gains, by allowing these elitists to remain in power, and the common people not realising what is actually happening and how their country is actually run.  The control of any one country’s people done by the need to stay in power to create wealth for these leaders and elites as showcased by both China and the USA means that both are likely to bring war upon themselves.

The USA and China (in terms of it’s governments and the control and shaping of their own societies) seem to be both leading their people to the stupidity that will lead to provocation, and eventually to war.
If they’ve both managed to do this, then I think it’s reasonable to say that either side could be thinning out the herd with humanities latest application of ‘survival of the fittest’  and evolution will prove to be ever present and applicable even in the human race.


The collective perspective. – Subjugating oneself to being insulted

From a wechat conversation
Someone posted a video they took themselves of a car crashed & burning on the 2nd ring road, in Beijing.

A = the guy that took & posted the original video


A: Wonder how that’s even possible for a single car accident

Me: chinese drivers are awesome

Me: where there’s a will, there’s a way

Me: playing with his phone… and he / she had a samsung galaxy s7?

A: Uber had turned a nation of already bad drivers into something much much worse! Everybody is driving slowly while trying to locate their next customer

Tobias: Bigots

Tobis: Sometimes slow is the problem. Sometimes fast is the problem. Sometimes careless is the problem. Sometimes unprofessional is the problem.  Bigotry always has the upper hand though. Sick and tired of laowais thinking the know what the ‘problem’ of China is. Go home and solve your own issues. Nobody wants your opinions on china.

Tobias: *They

B: Well, hopefully it thins out the crowd on the highways know what I’m sayin’….

Me: chinese person crashes …in china, unprofessional?  ehhh yep. because the professional thing would be not to crash, since when has being ‘professional’ meant that you can drive a car without crashing? or catching on fire?

And yeah, all this points to laowais should go home and fix their own problems. … brilliant.

or bigotry apparently

smartest sequence of conclusions I’ve seen for a while.

Rant (not said on the wechat group…which is why we’ve now got an article): go home and solve our own problems?

-you have to realise that a lot of us (with the exception of USA) are coming from countries that don’t really have many problems…or at least not the problems that are interesting and as challenging as China’s.

-We are here to put our great detective skills up to the challenge

-we are like the detective from another agency that looks about to steal your case away from you….

-relax, we’re doing your job so you don’t have to… don’t fight it, just know that the professionals have been called in

-plus we know that you raising a hand against the government can mean bad news for you, we’re simply removing that as an option… if anything you should be more relaxed by our ponderings

-what’s more, you don’t have to defend idiots from foreign scrutinisation just because they are also Chinese….Idiots are idiots, that is not the bonding aspects.

-Idiots in China, are …obviously as a majoirty, Chinese., but not all Chinese are idiots….. to confuse the 2 however places you in the basket of the idiots.

-to take offence for others idiocy,….is in fact idiotic in itself, so well done, give yourself a pat on the back, you’ve reacted in a collective fashion to an individual case of idiocy in a situation that demanded no connection to that individual, unless of course you HAVE been in that situation before…

so you’ve reacted to the scrutiny of 1 individual and taken as an attack on yourself because you’ve deemed yourself as fitting into a collective disposition not as idiots, but as Chinese….which was not neccesarily related.

And the only rational, sensible thing to do in reacting to such a situation, is of course taking an offensive position against the ‘attacker’ , but not as the individual…. oh no, but as the collective that that individual must obviously fit into.

And what pray, collective group is that?

Foreigners…. oh yes, everyone that is not in YOUR collective.

or as you put it….laowai.

Laowai, the term used either by foreigners living in china which use it ironically to showcase how the other group,- the nationalistic, narrow-minded, possibly jaded in some way douchebag chinese also use it.

or by Nongs..   but nongs will be nongs

Note. not all chinese are douchebags, not all are narrow minded, and not all consider themselves as part of the collective, ….just people the emanate all of the above qualities

Given the context as well…

what? the dude that crashed and somehow managed to have his car catch on fire… couldn’t possibly be Chinese?

Why do you think this is an unreasonable conclusion to reach?

China, Beijing a city of 20 million or so, with a population of 100,000 foreigners…. of which maybe only 3% have their drivers license, and of which the majority live outside the 2nd ring road….

(from where this scene was taken)

yeah… I think it has a pretty high chance that the driver of this car was Chinese

And nobody wants your opinions on China?

No, you don’t want MY opinions on China.
Especially when they point out the error in your own opinions.

You don’t want to be insulted, which is fair enough, not many people do, but YOU being insulted in this situation, is your own fault, because this situation didn’t call for you to be insulted… you simply took that upon yourself.

And by the way, I’m sorry I didn’t know that in sharing the blame for this individuals idiocy you are also standing up for and are the voice of the collective that you’ve taken it upon yourself to be a part of

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

I don’t want to ____, but….

Ok so this started because I did a ride yesterday that I’d been looking forward to doing for a while, there’s a part of the great wall that you can actually ride your motorbike onto.  I just couldn’t miss out on something like that.  A friend has done it twice before, and it’s detailed on some of the motorbike forums in China.

I posted some photos up on Chinese social media, and I instantly got a whole bunch of people commenting, ‘wow that’s great, how can I go? I really want to do this too…’ etc.
From both Chinese and foreign riders alike.

So I posted the information on one of the motorbike groups for Chinese and foreigners using WeChat (Chinese social media)

For example, you can’t look at this and not be intrigued:

15.pic_hd copy


31.pic_hd copyAbsolutely amazing views, and such a hidden and interesting ride, and on top of it all, nice to get out of Beijing and do something that not many people have done.

Most people were just like ‘wow…yes…I’m doing that’

And then you always get one, one person that feels it’s his/ her duty to stand up for those that didn’t ask standing up for… and just generally to be ‘the voice of reason’ when reason was not called for…or actually constitutes ‘reason’

Which….starts me off on a rant about such douchebags.

So what was actually said:

Some dude:
-I don’t want to be a dick so I’m only going to put it out there. You think riding a bike on an already crumbling world heritage site is a good idea? I’m all for exploring and I’ve ridden out that way many times but for me I’d rather hike it than bike it. [Awkward]

-Just saying.

-Yeah it’s a good idea

-Like many Chinese friends have said to me, you think too much

I dislike these comments so much because there’s too many things to pull apart and analyse and to shout at this person at, that you inevitably end up just stating such a brief point, like ‘is it a good idea….nanh nah nah?’  ‘yeah it is’   translation- shut the hell up you moron.

“I don’t want to be a dick, but…”
“I don’t want to do ____ but…”
Well we know you’re instantly going to do whatever ___ is.
“I’m not racist, but…”    You know whatever comes next is going to be racist right?  Oh what and because the person has clarified up front, it makes it instantly acceptable?
No, it means the person stating this shit is unsure how its going to be taken….

“Just saying”

How about you have some adventure and if you think the Great Wall is worth saving how about you complain to the gov that’s been destroying it through ‘restoring it’ for the last 20 years or so??
Mr fucktard?

” I prefer to hike it than bike it”

What?,  you think because it rhymes it adds strength to your argument?
No, fuck off.

“Do you really think it‘s a good idea?”

Yes, motherfucker I do.

Did I mention Baam !

And its crumbling because
1. It was built with shit materials in some parts… and
2. Because people have been stealing bricks for centuries to make walls for their farms etc. Because guess what?
They were too poor to get normal materials.
And who’s fault is that?
Because they decided to park a motorbike there decades later?
No. Fuck off.
Learn some real history and some modern happenings.
And don‘t let your Chinese wife influence your opinion with her propaganda tainted mind.

All those propaganda tales that the government came out with, like documentaries stating ‘oh yeah you can see the great wall from space’

‘The chief engineer in charge of the wall at the time calculated down to the brick just how many bricks were needed for the completion of the wall’
‘it really showcases the prowess of Chinese construction knowledge’

What? ??

Just think about that for a moment, instead of doing the usually Chinese thing and just believing it straight away. First of all …you’re American, you don’t have the fall-back excuse of a crap education system that doesn’t teach ‘why?’ or critical thinking.
In fact if you don’t apply critical thinking….that’s just dumb.

You can see it from space?    Bitch please… you can’t even see it from the horizon, there’s too much pollution, or ‘fog’ and its way too deteriorated anyway; its not a wide wall, most of the time its as wide as the width of 3 cars parked side by side.

Can you see cars from space?
Then you can’t see the fucking wall, can you?

See…. Critical thinking.

You can….probably….probably see the mountain range… , but that’s not the wall is it?

And ‘the Chief engineer calculated it down to the last brick just how many bricks were needed, and as proof he made one extra and then placed it on top of the wall in a certain area to showcase his achievement’

That kind of claim is just so beyond stupid, it’s so beyond trying to understand it, it’s so ignorant to the history that is the Great Wall…. that to recite something like that makes me feel sad.

Sure, lets go with ‘he calculated it’    Sure, but he could have just calculated it incorrectly. That way you can still claim that you ‘calculated it’

That’s like…

quick mathematics

you can claim something, but other should looks carefully at what you’re claiming.







As beautiful as this is, and it is beautiful, do you really think these ‘bricks’ were part of the whole ‘calculation’??

Oh yeah and the history of the wall…. it wasn’t built in one go, it was built over dynasties, in irregular locations as well.

How do people believe this kind of obviously fake claims?

Americans… well I guess they have a fall-back of some rather dodgy public school systems too.




Is this where babies come from?

I was talking to a friend yesterday, and she said her colleague apparently until the age of 17 didn’t know which part of the body babies came from.  Well she did know, or rather she THOUGHT she knew, somehow her mum had convinced her that they were born from the armpit.

The Armpit…..

& like a dope, she didn’t think…. ‘but there’s no hole or anything in the armpit’ ‘i wonder how that works’ …..she just thought.. ‘oh yep, ok’

The armpit??  damn.

And until she was 17??


The only thing that justifies this thinking… or rather this ignorance, is in knowing the Chinese education system and culture a bit.

There is pretty much zero sex education.

And there is not a lot of thinking about ‘why?’  , as you’ve probably noticed from previous articles.

Also sexual experience and talking about it is pretty much zero apart from with very close friends, but it’s still majorly seen as taboo.

There is definitely no ‘talk about the birds and the bees’ between parents and their children.  And in many family situations, even though they do love each other and apparently ‘family values’ is something that’s placed above most western cultures, which I’m actually really not sure is true; they don’t show any of this, not really within the confines of their home and especially not in public.
Basically it works out that generally information is not shared so much between parents and children.  When a child asks why, generally (not all the time) but generally the parent in China is not confident enough (maybe confident is not the right word) to give their child the correct and informed answer.  So instead just say an answer, and hope that the problem will go away.

Sometimes they’re ignorant of the answer themselves, but don’t have the heart to say ‘I don’t know’ (as that’s a losing face thing. .even if it’s in front of their own child) But in a situation like this, clearly the mum knew because…she actually HAS a child.

And relying on the education system to teach the child sex-ed in china is just a fail.

Something a bit disturbing is that again, generally, people, both male and female don’t ‘maintain’ their bodily hair.
So it can be quite daunting for a foreigner when they come to China. A nice pretty, cute, and quaint Chinese girl and then Baaam armpit hair.

I don’t know if this plays into it at all… but there’s a lot of hair there, and down there… so maybe this girl just thought… ‘hey, they both have hair…why not?’

Although that’s pushing it.

Imagine though 2 people coming together, both knowing absolutely nothing about sex, the girl thinking that babies come from armpit; and there being way too much hair down there to make sense of things..  and then they’re expected to produce a baby.

Not even have sex, just ‘make a damn baby’.  Wow….. what a fantastic sexual experience that must be.

How to score a sweet date

I knew a person that she called her friend (our mutual friend) on her cellphone on the subway, and was talking to her using earphones and the microphone from the headphones, and had the phone palm up.
She saved my friends picture to the profile.  And a Chinese guy looking over her shoulder saw the pic thought ‘hey she’s pretty’ ; copied down the phone number, and then afterwards gave my friend a call.

My friend was like wtf??  Why would you admit that when you called me?

So… lesson learned.. you can look over the shoulder of girls making phone calls to their hot friends, and if you like what you see for that person’s saved profile…just write down their number.

That’s the Chinese guys way.

What’re you waiting for?

Be the creep you know you can be!

What’s considered intelligent…

Went for a massage with a friend because we were feeling sore after trampolining.  Yes I said trampolining, but that’s not the point of the story because there’s nothing illogical about that.

At the start of the massage I raised my head out from the little hole in the massage bed to scratch my chin, and was met with ‘怎么了? ‘  what’s wrong?

And I said 我就。。。痒。  I just ….itch.

And she’s replies.  ‘Wow 中文这么好。’ wow this Chinese is of THIS level.   But meaning to say that it’s pretty good.

And I was thinking…hang on, I know that 痒 yang = to itch, or tickle (yes it’s the same word in Chinese, pretty funny considering it has a big difference in English)

I know that this word isn’t learnt by many beginners, nor is it even the word that intermediate speakers of a language know because they don’t need it in their daily lives, but for you to judge my entire Chinese speaking ability on 3 words….that’s pretty impressive.
Impressively naive/ stupid I mean.

She then proceeded to talk to me… and I’m sorry… but please just concentrate on the massage,  but err anyway…..proceeded to talk to me, and quoting the recent news… about the tiger (read about it here, opens in a new page), and defending the woman that stepped out of her car because her husband was driving too slowly. (after which point a tiger came out and took her away)
The massage lady said, well yeah I think she thought she had enough time.
No. that’s a really shit excuse.
Well anyway, then she quoted some sort of Chinese poem, or extended 成语, (idiom) to explain the Chinese stance…
and I’m like… ‘I’m sorry I don’t understand what you mean’ after she prodded me and asked ‘你明白吗? ’   do you understand?

No. I don’t.

To which she replied ‘什么都不知道‘ wow you don’t know anything.’

And later in the conversation, ‘there’s so many things you don’t know’

Really?   Really? I’m speaking your language, talking about recent events, for which you apparently admitted before (albeit rather naively) that you thought my Chinese level was decent, and now you’re quoting ancient Chinese poems to back up your shit-for-brains reasoning of why the husband driving the car was doing the wrong thing…. And you have the audacity to say… ‘you really don’t know a lot’

Lady, wtf is wrong with you?

The ancient Chinese poems by the way are a normal thing. Once you really get into Chinese language learning, you’re expected to know some Chinese poems. They’re meant to teach morality and reasoning, and lessons to be learned, just like we have in English and any other culture.  But the difference is that in Chinese there are thousands of them. Same with idioms- hundreds of them.  And if you want to seem like you’re intelligent in China, you don’t show it by how rationally and logically you can prove your point; you show it by working one or more of these ancient poems, or idioms into your story. A retelling of what someone already said is considered intelligent.

Of course we do that in English too, a retelling of a quote at just the right time IS intelligent, however when it is a large basis of one’s culture…something feels slightly wrong there.

Also learning about all these things in school is a convenient way to shift focus away from learning about modern history… history that China obviously isn’t too proud of, and onto history from hundreds of years ago and the ‘lessons’ learnt from them.

I have heard before the message that they sometimes play on long distance buses as a public announcement of sorts, to ‘remember to compliment foreigners on their Chinese’
It was something like this, I heard that they do that before I heard it myself, and then even when I DID hear it myself I was unsure if I actually understood it correctly.
Basically the reasoning as I understand it, is that they want foreigners to study Chinese and the government acknowledges that it IS a difficult language to learn, but if they’re discouraged by people constantly not understanding them, then will stop studying… and it will affect China negatively somehow.

But many Chinese people often have this ‘wall’ of incomprehension, where they just don’t WANT to understand you. So if they can understand you enough, they will begin working in things that are more and more native until you eventually can’t understand them unless you’re Chinese. People you’ve just met seem to do that a lot.

When that happens in OUR home countries, and we’re talking to a non-native speaker, WE don’t do that; because we know that it will discourage the person from improving their language ability. And, moreover…it’s just rude.
But for the Chinese you have to remember that there is an overall sense of ethnocentricity from the general populous, so proving that they are better that you, (yes it sounds stupid) a native speaker of the language is better than a non-native speaker) in the comparison of who can speak that particular language … is one way to show superiority; whether it’s done consciously or subconsciously.

My show of intelligence; ie combining rational and logical thinking into wit; was what silenced her though.
So that keeps me happy.

See the next article, or click here. Opens in a new tab

Curly hair = smart?

Hahah yesterday, I got a massage with a friend,
and the lady told me… I think black people are very smart
and when I asked her why?
She said, I think people with curly hair are really smart, yes I think having curly hair means you’re smart.

To which I asked, errrr so what about Chinese people then?


Using logic against her… poor lady she didn’t stand a chance.

Logic that what she alluded to, what she simultaneously, apparently unknowingly inferred was that the more curly your hair was, the smarter you were; and that those with straight hair…weren’t that smart.
Yet Chinese people all have straight hair… so?
Really? She didn’t get that from her own argument?


The good old 山寨车 (Copy car)

land wind landrover crash 2 landwind landrover crash

For the pictures above, one is  the RangeRover Evoque, and the other is the Landwind L7, but which one is which?
(obviously the one that says RangeRover is the original one)

Apparently… and I didn’t know this before, its the same factory that makes them here in China, which makes it even more amazing that the Chinese court ruled in favour of the copy car.  (Copy for design)

The Chinese have a word for this its called 山寨车 Shan zhai che, everyone knows this happens, which again makes it impressive because if everyone knows it, yet the courts still rule against it… well thats just extra special.

Dealing with ‘security controls’ from my university

I was trying to see if I’ve officially graduated, as I’ve already completed all the units.

Email from my former university:

Please check your ***** supplied student email account as all official correspondence is sent to that account (this was advised on 4 March 2016 and again on 11 April 2016).

It is understood that all official graduation documentation (official academic transcript, testamur and AHEGS statement) is currently being dispatched to all students who did not register to attend the actual ceremony last week or elected not to attend.

My reply:

Hello ****,
Yes that would be good, but I haven’t had access to the ***** system and hence the email for quite some time.
It keeps saying that the password I’ve entered is incorrect, even though I’ve copied it from a saved place.
And then when it inevitably asks me to change my password because I’ve ‘forgotten’ it, then I have to change it to one I haven’t used before, which means as I’ve changed it more than 10 times now, it is ever increasingly likely that I won’t remember it, because it becomes more and more obscure.

I mean seriously what kind of secure system is that?  It is so difficult to get in, that you can’t use any of the functions because you won’t be able to get past the initial login.

But hackers can still get in, because they’re going to find a way around the system anyway. It’s just the person that wants to use the account can’t.  Brilliant!

Also, I seem to remember that this particular university system asks me really strange questions when you go to change your password.

Like ‘Please answer your security questions’

However I’m pretty sure I’ve never typed in those security questions.

So instead of ‘What was your Mother’s maiden name?’

It will ask something like ‘Where was your Aunty’s first apartment in Australia?’

Or… ‘What was your father’s childhood dog’s name?’

Or.. ‘How many pairs of socks did you own as of March 2015?’

Errr…. I don’t even know the answers to these questions.  And I’m pretty sure I didn’t choose them as my security questions.
Ok the last question is a bit ridiculous, but you get what I mean.

It will always tell me though, that I’ve answered it correctly, which makes me just assume that it’s somehow collecting information on me.
Yes my cynical, paranoid mind kicks into gear.

But then it say.. ‘OK please wait 24 hours whilst we clear this information for security concerns’

By which you forget the damn password you just changed it to, or…you forget to login again after 24 hour and then you even forget where you stored the password that you had the foresight to actually write down.

….Why does it have to be this complicated?