2001 A Space Odyssey

Can you justifiably say something is shit not just from a subjective point of view?

Have you guys seen 2001 a space odyessy?
Well first of all …don’t. Its terrible.
But it like one of those movies that people tell you you just HAVE to watch… because its a cult classic or something
I was trying to argue against a colleague, with me saying that it was shit…. or at least frustrating to watch…. and she keeps saying things like like ‘oh maybe you just didn’t understand it’
Sorry….have you seen the movie?
Well then shut up.

Its 2 hrs 29 mins long … and its slow as hell.. and its one of those kind of movies where you know that it was made for people on drugs.. like LSD or something,  but if you’re not on LSD… its pretty fucking terrible.
And like a good boy, I of course don’t want to give away too much… of why it IS terrible, but now I’m getting insulted because of a predetermination for which she thinks the movie is good because she’s seen some reviews online.

Reviews are for idiots!
Why is it that the simple reviews are never taken seriously?
ie.-  Its shit, don’t watch it.
Wait sorry, let me change my review. It’s shit because….. (people always want to know the because) it’s slow, its full of extended 15 minute scenes for which we already got the point in 2 mins, and unless you’re on LSD, I would not recommend this movie.


Here’s a friend’s review for the film…and its more like a watching guide:

Imagine a movie written by a director who thinks he’s being deep enough to create a cult following on his film. Imagine the beginning of time when monkeys roamed the planet, now a plot twist. A rectangle black rock. It appears throughout the film for zero fucking reason. Fast forward time and they will talk about deep space and bush babies. Fast forward for 15 minutes or nauseating coloured lens flares and crappy sound. Black rectangle is seen. The end.

By the way, for those that haven’t seen the film, here’s a little insight…. The first word, the first bit of dialogue is spoken after a full 26 mins.  Before that you’re just watching monkeys behave curiously.
Come on!

Note- I will concede the movie is full of some pretty basic science-fiction concepts that has fuelled ideas to shows that we all know and love, (like Futurama for instance) and of course it was pretty impressive for when it was made, 1968. You will see that I said ‘impressive’, impressive doesn’t necessarily mean good.


By the way… In terms of movies that are designed to be watched when you’re as high as a kite, I think ‘Gravity’, ‘The life of Pi’, ‘This is the end’, ‘Pineapple express’ are the ones that I know of….anyone got any others?

winning browny points

I’ve got a question to ask you,

How many times have you walked into a bathroom in China only to hear someone walk into a cubicle and flush the toilet straight away?

Many, right?

Well the reason as to why that is, is because often people don’t flush after they’ve done their business.

Whilst I’m wrestling to understand this, I’ve come up with a number of possible reasons, and you can comment on which one is the most likely.

  • It is simply Chinese mentality. Leaving a whole pile of stuff behind after they’ve done their business is just what is expected of people.

-They don’t care that it smells bad, it just that this is what is done, and this is what will always be done. Whilst foreigners flush it straight away because we don’t like the look or the smell, in China some things are different, and flushing the toilet as soon as you enter the cubicle is in fact China’s way, instead of flushing it before you leave. Whilst you or I may walk into the cubicle and audibly exclaim “ahh wtf??”; you never hear that from Chinese people because…that might just be the way it is done here.

  • They are really proud of their poops. And who can blame them, there’s a lot there, and they want to be able to share that with other people. So leaving it behind is the natural way of doing that.
  • The Chinese squat toilets just can’t handle the poops, either because the drainage system is not good enough… (more about that later) or because the design of the squat toilet it means that if there is sufficient ‘material’ there when the toilet flushes the water goes around it instead of washing it away because it has stuck to the dry surface to begin with and now can’t be unstuck. Further poops add to this problem.
  • They are playing ‘The game’ – the game of pissing off foreigners.
    They don’t flush on purpose because they want to hear you exclaim…. “ahh wtf?” and in fact they are lingering just outside the bathroom door just to hear your anguish. Because of this they have won points in the game which aims to piss off as many foreigners as possible. Some of them may even see a pile there, and decide to add to the pile trying to make it as big as possible to ensure that if you, as a foreigner now try to flush it away, you can’t because there’s just too much there. In this way, they get bonus points.

When you think about it, it’s not like people can just say ‘Oh I forgot’, there has to be a reason behind it.

You realise that people squat facing the door, so it means that people walk in and then have to turn around to squat down and do their business.  This means that unless they’re really pre-occupied, or somehow manage to open the door and back onto the squat toilet, they are going to see the stuff there.
And then what do they do?
Are they having us believe that after they’re done, they just pull up their pants and walk off, without taking a quick gander at just how much they feel better?
I don’t think there’s anyone that can admit to that.

In fact South Park even devoted a whole episode to it.

To be able to do your business and then just walk out without taking a quick look….that requires determination to resist the temptation.

Coincidental toilet cleaning

23 September 2015
It’s becoming more than just coincidence now, every time I decide to go to the bathroom at work, there is an Ayi cleaning it.

It’s the reason that I’ve decided to consistently use the cubicles instead of the urinals, because at any point in time the Ayi (阿姨) just come in and start cleaning the place.

Sometimes they shout something to which the equivalent meaning is, ‘is anyone using the urinals?’ and then they don’t really wait for an answer and just come in.

Anyway, I go in there in the morning… and the ayi is in there cleaning once again, but… cleaning the roof.
This is a bathroom, people don’t shit on the roof  People don’t throw shit onto the roof,  do they?

So I’m like…oh whatever, I’ll just go in a cubicle.  First cubicle I walk into, there’s a shit just sitting on the side of the squatter toilet, like just sitting there, not even in the bowl kind of thing, some guy shat on the tiles.  What?

Surely the cleaner should actually clean the things that are supposed to be cleaned first right?
If you need to clean the roof, ok, but do it after the toilets are clean.

It’s like those Ayis that come to your house to clean but you have to constantly watch them and guide them and tell them how to clean, despite the fact that this is their job remember, because otherwise they will start cleaning the doors or something, before they get to the kitchen.

They could be at your house for an hour and not have started on the bedroom, or the kitchen or the things that count.

In fact for that kind of situation, that’s the reason I don’t have an Ayi, well first my place is a bit shit. It’s really just for me, and nobody else should see it.
But its mainly because when I think about calling an ayi, and knowing that I have to be there, I start thinking the amount of time I have to spend for the lady to come to do a shit job…well I can just do it instead.  It’s really not about the money.
But in terms of advantages disadvantages paying for a person to waste my time and do a shit job whilst me getting thoroughly pissed off…mmm, no I’ll just to it myself.

Or… even better, perhaps it’s even easier to just convince myself that I enjoy living in filth.