The collective perspective. – Subjugating oneself to being insulted

From a wechat conversation
Someone posted a video they took themselves of a car crashed & burning on the 2nd ring road, in Beijing.

A = the guy that took & posted the original video


A: Wonder how that’s even possible for a single car accident

Me: chinese drivers are awesome

Me: where there’s a will, there’s a way

Me: playing with his phone… and he / she had a samsung galaxy s7?

A: Uber had turned a nation of already bad drivers into something much much worse! Everybody is driving slowly while trying to locate their next customer

Tobias: Bigots

Tobis: Sometimes slow is the problem. Sometimes fast is the problem. Sometimes careless is the problem. Sometimes unprofessional is the problem.  Bigotry always has the upper hand though. Sick and tired of laowais thinking the know what the ‘problem’ of China is. Go home and solve your own issues. Nobody wants your opinions on china.

Tobias: *They

B: Well, hopefully it thins out the crowd on the highways know what I’m sayin’….

Me: chinese person crashes …in china, unprofessional?  ehhh yep. because the professional thing would be not to crash, since when has being ‘professional’ meant that you can drive a car without crashing? or catching on fire?

And yeah, all this points to laowais should go home and fix their own problems. … brilliant.

or bigotry apparently

smartest sequence of conclusions I’ve seen for a while.

Rant (not said on the wechat group…which is why we’ve now got an article): go home and solve our own problems?

-you have to realise that a lot of us (with the exception of USA) are coming from countries that don’t really have many problems…or at least not the problems that are interesting and as challenging as China’s.

-We are here to put our great detective skills up to the challenge

-we are like the detective from another agency that looks about to steal your case away from you….

-relax, we’re doing your job so you don’t have to… don’t fight it, just know that the professionals have been called in

-plus we know that you raising a hand against the government can mean bad news for you, we’re simply removing that as an option… if anything you should be more relaxed by our ponderings

-what’s more, you don’t have to defend idiots from foreign scrutinisation just because they are also Chinese….Idiots are idiots, that is not the bonding aspects.

-Idiots in China, are …obviously as a majoirty, Chinese., but not all Chinese are idiots….. to confuse the 2 however places you in the basket of the idiots.

-to take offence for others idiocy,….is in fact idiotic in itself, so well done, give yourself a pat on the back, you’ve reacted in a collective fashion to an individual case of idiocy in a situation that demanded no connection to that individual, unless of course you HAVE been in that situation before…

so you’ve reacted to the scrutiny of 1 individual and taken as an attack on yourself because you’ve deemed yourself as fitting into a collective disposition not as idiots, but as Chinese….which was not neccesarily related.

And the only rational, sensible thing to do in reacting to such a situation, is of course taking an offensive position against the ‘attacker’ , but not as the individual…. oh no, but as the collective that that individual must obviously fit into.

And what pray, collective group is that?

Foreigners…. oh yes, everyone that is not in YOUR collective.

or as you put it….laowai.

Laowai, the term used either by foreigners living in china which use it ironically to showcase how the other group,- the nationalistic, narrow-minded, possibly jaded in some way douchebag chinese also use it.

or by Nongs..   but nongs will be nongs

Note. not all chinese are douchebags, not all are narrow minded, and not all consider themselves as part of the collective, ….just people the emanate all of the above qualities

Given the context as well…

what? the dude that crashed and somehow managed to have his car catch on fire… couldn’t possibly be Chinese?

Why do you think this is an unreasonable conclusion to reach?

China, Beijing a city of 20 million or so, with a population of 100,000 foreigners…. of which maybe only 3% have their drivers license, and of which the majority live outside the 2nd ring road….

(from where this scene was taken)

yeah… I think it has a pretty high chance that the driver of this car was Chinese

And nobody wants your opinions on China?

No, you don’t want MY opinions on China.
Especially when they point out the error in your own opinions.

You don’t want to be insulted, which is fair enough, not many people do, but YOU being insulted in this situation, is your own fault, because this situation didn’t call for you to be insulted… you simply took that upon yourself.

And by the way, I’m sorry I didn’t know that in sharing the blame for this individuals idiocy you are also standing up for and are the voice of the collective that you’ve taken it upon yourself to be a part of

Brilliant. Just brilliant.


Profound questions

“If a tree falls in a forest, but no one is there to to hear it, does it still make a sound?”

Yes.     Next one.

“What does a one handed clap sound like”

Bart Simpson’s one handed clap
[from S02E06 Dead Putting Society]

“Can something exist without being perceived?”


What other brain busters have you got for me?

What is so difficult or profound about any of these questions?

Just because you can’t perceive it, it doesn’t mean that something doesn’t exist.

Before Isaac Newton came up with the theory of gravity, it didn’t mean that the laws of gravity had no effect because no one had ‘perceived it before’

…well I guess that’s ‘conceived’ actually.

Or that the world wasn’t actually round because no one had seen it before or thought about it before.  The world was still round, its just that no one knew it.

The tree falling in the forest. It’s just such a stupid question… I can barely bring myself to give it any credence.
If there’s a deaf person and a person that is not deaf standing in the forest at the same time as the tree falls, and the deaf person says… “I can’t hear anything”
First of all the other person would be like… “of course not, you’re deaf, are you only just figuring this out now?”  and then would use his sign-language to convey that actually the tree just made a sound as it crashed to the ground, in a more polite manner.

If you don’t hear anything because you’re not in a position to do so… it’s not to say that it didn’t happen.
That is not how sound works as well, it doesn’t just exist in your mind…it’s the vibration of air particles….wait why am I explaining this to you… I’m sure whoever reading this is thinking….’yeah man you’re preaching to the choir here’

And for those philosophical hippies out there… me explaining the concept of physics is not going to change their minds… they’re hippies, they are sometimes immune to logic.

“oh but you’re not thinking about the philosophical nature of the question”

Its not philosophical its just stupid, and it has an easy answer, but you’re so caught up in trying to seem profound and spiritual that you won’t even given logic a chance.

……I really … really don’t like hippies.


sarcasm irony synonyms? no people wake the hell up

(29th September 2015)

Ok the other thing that is pissing me off is people not knowing the difference between sarcasm and irony.

I realise I live in a country where English is not their native language, and of course the culture is completely different so it’s likely that people can’t really distinguish the difference between the 2 because unlike the Australian’s and the English, they haven’t had decades of humour based on these 2 concepts.

So in my view, the Chinese more or less get a pass here.

In fact they do actually have sarcasm AND irony …and they are 2 separate things, but you have to seriously look around to find someone that uses it properly.

Which in fact, brings me to my real point here.


Most of the time I love being able to speak to Americans because of the one simple fact that I don’t have to dumb down my English to be understood.  I can talk about common culturally related stuff, because Australian’s are pretty much that link between the differences between Britain and America. We understand them more…plus all those American TV shows certainly help too.

And for the most part, even though I don’t agree with it, I can understand that even though some people would say they’ve butchered the English language by changing the spelling of certain words to make it easier for pre-school kids to learn, or dim-witted people….  Hey, yes they’ve changed some words, they’ve added their own spin on it, they’ve of course got all their own colloquialisms and slang. But it’s still English. It’s not British English anymore, its instead justifiably American English.

However at the end of the day, words do have meanings.

Ok so on ‘Sarcasm’ and ‘Irony’

Yes, they are in fact different and somehow a lot of Americans don’t seem to get this, nor do all the other countries that America influences.

The definition from the dictionary app that I have in my phone (with apparently all definitions coming from says:
ironic- 1.) Characterized by or constituting irony. ‘it was ironic I forgot my textbook on human memory’

2.) Given to the use of irony; sarcastic

Which when you click on ‘sarcastic’ it takes you to ‘sarcasm’ or which one of the definitions is: A sharp form of humor intended to hurt, that is marked my mocking with irony, sometimes conveyed in speech with vocal over-emphasis.  Insincerely saying something which is the opposite of one’s intended meaning, often to emphasize how unbelievable or unlikely it sounds if taken literally, thereby illustrating the obvious nature of one’s intended meaning.

Ah hah!  That’s more like it. But if you’ve noticed the word humour is spelt ‘humor’ which designates that this is American English, and therefore this is THEIR understanding….which as explained above, has transgressed away from British English somewhat.
And ‘intended to hurt’? …mmm I wouldn’t necessarily say so, intended to emphasize how ‘unbelievable or unlikely it sounds if taken literally, thereby illustrating the obvious nature of one’s intended meaning’   , yes, but only hurting someone if they themselves take offense.   It isn’t necessarily meant to be hurtful.

So it’s understandable how American people can be confused that sarcasm and ironic is different, knowing that for one point their dictionary gives a fantastic example of ‘sarcasm’ , and another more or less reasonable definition of ‘ironic’ , but then confuses the student by just casually throwing in ‘sarcastic’ as a directly related synonym.

And so why does the rest of the world seem to not know the difference either?

Why, because America culture has permeated around the world with its lovely TV shows and movies, spreading its values, understanding… or in this case sometimes lack of understanding to all those that want to escape from their monotonous lives and watch reliably captivating TV/ Movies.

Let me give you a quick example.

I was in a taxi once going to my ‘Chinese family’s’ place and as soon as I got in the taxi I could tell he was a bit crazy.

So we started off and there was a lady driving in front.. she was going really slowing and the reason was was that she kept looking in the rear-view mirror putting on her make-up. (she clearly didn’t want to crash which is why she was going slowly but she also wanted to keep driving, because she evidently thought she could do both at the same time – she couldn’t. )

Before some butt-munch squeals out that I’m choosing to rip on women, this lady was not an example of all women, but simply an example of an idiot. She should have either stopped by the side of the road to do it, or done it later.

But anyway, she was weaving from one side of the road to the other going very slowly because clearly she couldn’t concentrate on the road and her makeup at the same time. But it meant it was impossible for my crazy, angry taxi driver to overtake. And despite the fact that he was rhythmically beeping, she couldn’t hear him because concentrating on 2 things as she was, meant that she couldn’t hear the beeping.  Oh and there were other cars behind us seemingly beeping at us, which was making my driver more crazy.
Anyway, my taxi driver finally overtook her only to bestuck behind yet another idiot that couldn’t figure out where he was meant to turn left.  So this guy was now driving slowly down the middle of the street, with his left indicator on sometimes stopping abruptly trying to figure out if THIS was the place he was meant to turn or not.

Again he finally got the chance to over-take this idiot, which evidently decided he didn’t want to turn left after all. And then what did my taxi driver do?

That’s right, he proceeded to drive slowly in front of these 2 cars.

From swearing his arse off at these 2 cars, to now driving slowly himself thereby holding them up…. You have to ask yourself was this ironic or sarcastic? Or… as per apparently many people’s definitions, did it not matter because these are pretty much the same thing?

Irony can be seen as something (an event, something that is said..whatever) that is contrary to expectations that usually happens in a way that is bad to the person involved/ affected. And can be seen as possibly humourous because of this.

Sarcastic is pretty much the definition from the dictionary meaning above.

So it would make sense if the taxi driver drove ironically, or that the situation was ironic, because of the context of the event you would expect  that as he was so angry from being stuck behind 2 aggravatingly slow drivers… he would speed up and drive away in a fast and erratic way, but instead he continued to drive slowly.  The person being affected in a ‘bad’ way.. was me. Getting stuck behind 2 slow arses, and then my own enraged taxi driver proceeding to drive slow himself… not so good if I was in a rush.

Could it be said that the taxi driver was driving sarcastically?

Yes. Although of course you would have to define the context as it was above.

And that would be that he intentionally decided to drive slowly so as to press a point that the 2 people now following him (the man once wanting to turn left, and the spatially unaware make up lady) were in fact driving slowly beforehand and holding everyone up.

So you see there IS a difference.

I drive sarcastically sometimes just to point out the idiocy in how other people drive. For example beeping at people even though it’s evident that they can’t move forward because the gap is not big enough, and when they are in the same position, I do the same.

By the way don’t worry, I realise that I’m coming across as a pedantic word Nazi….. but then again, at the same time, I don’t want people to continue being stupid… so there we go.


Not racist—- hahahaha

(21st August 2015)
Interesting quote from the lonely planet guide book ~ circa 1997 by a random Chinese lady (and common held belief as I’ve heard it personally many times before..) “there is no racism in China because there are no black people”

Hahaha. Well for a start, why just black people?  For you to single out black people in the first place, isn’t that kind of inferring that the only people worth discrimination against are black people?

That’s a pretty bad reason, and it doesn’t seem to hold your civility and culture in the highest of regard in terms of openness, and acceptance for diversity. It’s as if you’re saying ‘we’re not racist because those black people/ those people worth being racist to are not here….so we can’t possibly be, but …if they were here…we’d have nothing to hold us back’
Plus a person that people are racist to doesn’t have to be physically present for racist thoughts, pre-conceived or bigoted ideas to present themselves.  Usually this happens from ignorance BECAUSE people don’t know enough about a culture, or a race…or BECAUSE they have no opportunity to meet them physically and come to their own conclusions…. Therefore because “there are no black people” , people are likely to be more ignorant and therefore more induced with preconceived ideas about the people they know nothing about. And because this is combined with what the government shows them on the news images of poorer people & generally negative images of Africa, and Chinese people’s general dislike to the colour black…especially for skin colour, then this very limited but chosen information combined with the lack of opportunity to meet actual black people in real life and decide for themselves, is likely to make them more discriminate, not less.

Adding to this is the Chinese people’s general ethnocentric nature. Which in loose terms asserts the notion that China as the middle kingdom has had a long and generally more sophisticated and civilised history as compared to other countries, and because of this- is generally the superior culture. Not necessarily the government system, but the culture attached to China/ the Han people…and therefore the people.  In Chinese thinking terms, it works as the Centre-periphery approach, not in terms of psychological approach that is often the case for acceptance of what is regarded as ‘Western’ countries, but that of a geographical approach.
As in the further outside of the physical centre that is China and the Chinese/ Han culture you go…the less civilised the people.  Therefore Africa, being incredibly far from China is naturally seen as an uncivilised group of people.  Europe whilst obviously far away from China has been proved over time to offer a degree of civility and culture, but obviously this wasn’t always the case, especially when compared to China 3,000 years ago.

Does anyone know what i’m talking about?
Why is it so quiet in here?


Rider safety

This guy is great!  I’ve only watched a few of his videos but the advice he dishes out is great, and he seems like a really funny guy.

In this video he talks about the importance of riding (a motorbike) with correct gear and is obviously very logical in his approach, otherwise it wouldn’t be here.



Too many times I see people driving motorbikes here in Beijing with just no regard for their safety.

I don’t know if they they think, ….  ‘well I’m a fucking awesome driver,  so I’ll never crash’

Hmmm, but surely even if that’s true, ….which I very much doubt it is.  [if they look like douchebags and behave like douchebages, chances are- they drive like douchebags also.]

So even if they do drive well, it’s not always about them.    We’re in China, where people…, let’s face it… drive like shit!

No body indicates, often buses will just cut across 2 lanes of traffic because they’ve nearly missed a stop.  Taxi drivers do this all the time because they’ve nearly missed a turn, or an exit, often cutting accross 3 lanes of traffic at a 70 degree angle just to make the turn…  And I can only imagine what they’re thinking  ‘I change lanes now…. good luck other drivers!’  (yes family guy reference)

They’re not all bad… that’s not what I’m saying.  It’s just that the ones that are- certainly make up for the ones that aren’t.

[If only 1 person trys to kill me on my way to work in the morning… I’m off to a pretty good day]- and I drive following all the rules as well!

The point is, that one of these days,  one of these maniacal drivers will hit you.  And when you go down you would hope to god that you’re wearing the right protection!

Helmet! This is so necessary & A proper helmet!,  none of this bullshit that moves around when you move your head forward, like any basic Chinese helmet.    And none of this shit where it only covers the top.  When you have a crash, it’s either going to be on the side of the head that you fall onto, or the chin area…

And for all of those turd-burgers out there that place something on their heads and don’t buckle it up…. Are you fucking spasticated?

As soon as you start to fall… the helmet falls off and then you hit the ground with your bare head anyway.  Good jobs you illogical nutjobs!

That’s just as bad as the Chinese construction workers you often see.  Wearing hardhats that’s not done up.  Again, if they fall, their hardhat goes one way, and their head lands on the floor in a big mushy pile.

[I think unfortunately for them, they’ve grown up in a system where thinking about things logically is not a big thing.  They get told by someone high up, ‘It is now procedure for all personnel to wear hard hats.  No hard hats, no work!’  But they don’t think to themselves….. ‘ooh i wonder why we have to do this?’

Rather than thinking, ‘oh i understand, it’s for my safety, because it protects my head if stuff falls onto it or I fall down… wow nice’

Instead they seem to think, ‘well the boss told us to, so I will do it’  – again not their fault- but illogical and in my mind retarded either way.

The point is after all of this, … Wear your proper helmets, and the right protection, such as jackets.. gloves and whatever… because at the end of the day it is your life.

The emphasis there is not supposed to be on ‘your  (as in it’s your’s do whatever the fuck you want with it)  but it’s on ‘life‘    You only get one of them.  It’s very easy to get squished here.  Protect yourselves!